


Do you love him?

by JustLyra



Category: MotoGP RPF, Motorsport RPF
Genre: Betrayal, Crash/Injuries, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, affair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-09-14 08:45:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 27,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9171658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustLyra/pseuds/JustLyra
Summary: Marc/Dani, Dani is cheating on Marc with AlexThis was the three line prompt. Because I'm in an evil/exploratory mood I decided it needed to be longer. In fact, I don't even know how long yet. At least three parts. Possibly more...Blame the prompter ;)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bavarian_angel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bavarian_angel/gifts).



“You HAVE to come to my party…” Tugging on Dani’s arms, too swept up in the euphoria of winning the title at Valencia to notice the extent of Dani’s reluctance, Marc pouted, already tipsy on champagne, “Pleeeeeeeease… Please Dani… I really, really, really, really want you to come to my party…”

Trying, but failing, to wriggle out of Marc’s grip, Dani sighed, Marc’s mouth latching onto his neck, nibbling and licking on his skin, “Marc, someone could see…”

“Come to my party… then you can come to my motorhome after, and come…” Marc winked, cheeky and coy, before biting his lip, his tone turning serious, his eyes locking on Dani, “Please… I just won the title despite the fact that crash at Superprestigo nearly killed me… A crash that **people** got me through and one of those people was you… I know we haven’t been… Well… Like we were before…”

Blushing bright red, and feeling beyond guilty, Dani shook his head, “Don’t Marc, it’s ok.”

“I know that it’s ok,” Marc smiled, his hands finding Dani’s waist, “The fact that it **is** ok is one of the reasons I love you… I know we said we wouldn’t say stuff while emotions were high and stuff, and I know we have a lot of things to talk about, but… Please come to my party, it wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Nodding, his eyes blinking slowly as he fidgeted from foot-to-foot, Dani smiled as best he could, “Ok. I’ll be there…”

*

“Hey…” Dani stepped outside, the cool night air attacking him like a blanket trying to smother him, his heart breaking at the sadness emitting from Alex’s whole posture, “Are you ok?”

Looking to the side, incredulity mixing with pain on his face, Alex shook his head, “No, Dani, I’m **not** ok… How are you Dani? Are **you** ok?”

“Sorry,” Looking at the ground, wishing it would open up and swallow him, Dani sighed hard, leaning against the railing, “I’m sorry.”

Biting his lip, tears stinging his eyes, Alex shrugged, everything feeling utterly hopeless, “What for? For the stupid question? For making me feel this shit?”

“Alex…”

Shaking his head, snatching away the hand Dani had reached for like he’d just been scalded, Alex’s hissed tone made Dani want to weep, “No, Dani, don’t _Alex_ me… You and your fucking _‘Alex’_ is the **reason** I feel like this… Do you realise what we’ve done? Do you?”

“Yes, I do,” Looking down, in fact looking anywhere that wasn’t going to end in eye contact with Alex, Dani’s shoulders slumped, his voice betraying any chance of hiding his feelings, “I do realise and I…”

Looking up at Dani, forcing eye contact, looking younger than his twenty years, Alex asked for honesty, “Do you love him?”

“Alex…”

“It’s a simple question Dani, do you love Marc?”

“It’s not simple Alex,” A line furrowing in his brow, his dark eyes glistening with tears, Dani shrugged, close to tears, “Nothing is simple anymore.”

“Do you love me?” Alex’s voice sounded more like a plea than a question, “Does what we’ve done mean anything to you? Do **I** mean anything to you?”

“Oh Alex…” Reaching for the younger man’s face, wiping a tear with his thumb, Dani bit back a sob, almost choking on the lump in his throat.

“Answer his question Dani…”

Jumping back from Dani, like a cat who’d landed on a hot tin roof, Alex’s eyes went as wide as saucers, not daring to look at the older man, instead his eyes locked on the third man standing in front of them, the one that was at the centre of everything, who'd appeared from nowhere and clearly had heard too much, “Marc…”

“Shut up Alex,” Barely looking at his brother, his brain almost exploding as he pieced together what it was he had heard, Marc’s mouth curled at the corners, as if the bottle in his hand had contained curdled milk instead of beer, “Answer the question Dani… Do you love him?”

“Marc…” Dani knew his voice sounded weak and pathetic because he felt weak and pathetic, standing in the cold night air with the two people who were, albeit unwittingly, the reason he’d binned his bike more times in one year than, probably, the rest of his career combined, “I…”

“ **ANSWER THE QUESTION!** ” Composure snapping, his fists clenching, vaguely aware he should put down the bottle in case he cracked it, Marc almost screamed in Dani’s face, “DO YOU LOVE MY BROTHER?”

“I…” Closing his eyes, wishing he could go back one whole year, when Marc and Honda were his world and everything was simple, before the crash, before Alex and before everything seemed foggy and confusing, Dani’s voice was barely a whisper, “I don’t know…”

“You don’t know?” Stepping back like he’d been slapped, looking between the two of them, everything suddenly worse than he thought, Marc looked to Alex, to the brother he loved and trusted implicitly, “Get inside…”

“Marc, I can explain…”

“Oh, you will explain,” Glaring at his brother, tears pooling in his eyes, the betrayal written all over his face, Marc shook his head, “Get. Inside. Now…”

Looking at Dani, that a mistake as Marc snapped, throwing the bottle to the ground and pushing Alex inside, screaming at him to go to the motorhome, and at Dani when Dani tried to intervene, Alex broke down in tears as the door slammed, Marc and Dani still outside on the balcony, him inside with their parents and Emilio look at him, silently asking for answers that he had no idea how to give.

*

“Everyone except him needs to leave… Mama, please don’t… Just leave us for a while,” Banging the motorhome door shut after dodging his mother’s hug, knowing that would bring the meltdown he was desperately fighting, Marc locked eyes with his brother, Alex’s face chalk white, his eyes red raw, “Explain. Now…”

*

_“Any change?” Bringing two coffees into the hospital room, knowing that there was likely to be no change because Dani would have called him, and he’d only been gone for an hour, Alex handed Dani one of the cups and sat on the spare plastic chair, sighing sadly at the shake of the head from Dani, “The doctors did say it could take a while…”_

_Dani nodded, blowing on the liquid the hospital vending machine claimed was coffee, “Did you get a shower ok?”_

_“Yeah,” Alex smiled, raising his eyebrow, “I hope you are not implying I was smelly…”_

_Dani laughed, shrugging his shoulders, “I wasn’t implying it…”_

_“Hey!” Alex started to argue, before pulling a face and laughing, “I did come here straight from Palau St Jordi so I probably did actually! This coffee is fucking rank.”_

_Concurring, Dani nodded, “It’s also like molten lava… There’s no middle ground either, it’s either molten lava hot or freezing”_

*

“I don’t want to hear about your coffee, Alex…” Arms folded, still standing in the middle of the floor, Alex sat on the sofa, his head in his hands, Marc’s tone was clipped and short, “I want to know why you were asking my boyfriend if he was in love with **you** …”

Looking up, pain written all over his face, Alex shrugged his shoulders, “You’ve already spoken to Dani so you know why… Marc, I…”

“I want to hear it from you,” Marc bit his lip, torn between wanting to kill Dani for making Alex hurt like this and kill them both for making him hurt like this, “Explain.”

*

_“Hey, are you ok?” Dropping down onto the floor, hauling Dani into a hug, the smaller man on the floor of the small, private waiting room the hospital had kindly allowed them use of, Alex shook his head, hugging Dani hard as Dani wept, “Come on, don’t do that, he’ll be ok, he’ll be ok…”_

_“What if he’s not?” Dani looked up at Alex, tears streaming down his face, “What if this is it and I lose him and we’ve wasted **so** much time and there’s so many things that have been left unsaid…”_

_“Come on, Pedrosa, you are not a quitter, and neither is my brother…”_

*

“He was in pieces… He felt so bad that he wasn’t there, that he’d let his paranoia about you two being seen together stop him coming to Superprestigo and that meant…” Alex closed his eyes, choking back tears at the memory, his voice dropping to a whisper, “…and that meant he wasn’t there for the last time…”

Chewing on his lip, Alex’s version of events almost identical to Dani’s, although in a mirror context, Marc fought the urge to comfort his crying his brother, unsure how to handle the burn of confusion in his stomach, “So, how did it go from Dani being worried about me to Dani fucking my little brother then? When? When did that change happen?”

“Marc…” Alex looked up, stopping his sentence when Marc shook his head, tears falling down his cheeks harder when he could see the pain etched on his beloved brother’s face, knowing the pain that he could cause and knowing the pain that he **had** caused so very different, and worse than he’d imagined, “It was the night your heart stopped…”

*

_“Marc!”_

_“Marc!”_

_“Please wait outside… Someone get a crash cart!”_

_“Marc…”_

_“Come on Alex…” Clinging to Alex, alarms blaring all over the room, doctors and nurses rushing in, Dani led the bewildered looking younger brother out of the room, somehow finding their way to the waiting room, both of them just clinging to each other and staring into space for over an hour until the door opened and their grip on each other tightened still until they were on the floor, collapsed and crying in relief._

_“He’s ok…”_

_“He’s ok…”_

_“He’s ok…”_

_“It’s ok…”_

_“Alex…”_

_Blinking away a tear, Alex realised where he was with a start, both of them on the floor, clinging to each other, their hands on each other, his around Dani’s neck and Dani’s around his waist, holding each other like a lifeline, the crackle in the air almost audible, the realisation that he’d kissed Dani, and Dani had kissed him, platonic and chaste, but suddenly something, making them both freeze, until they were inching closer, slower than slow, aware and unaware that it was wrong at the same time, each expecting something, anything, to interrupt until it hadn’t and their lips were pressed together again, chaste, until it wasn’t, chaste until it was moving lips, and chasing tongues, and hands grabbing clothes in desperation for an anchor, chaste until it wasn’t and they were staring at each other, breathless and confused and each aware they should be elsewhere, “We should get back to Marc…”_

*

“Did you fuck him?”

“Marc…”

“Don’t _Marc_ me Dani, just answer the fucking question…” Glaring, somehow able to understand one needy kiss, one moment of madness in the situation that they were in, Marc’s voice almost begged Dani to tell him that was it, that nothing more had happened, “Was that it, or did you fuck my brother?”

“Nnnot…” Dani closed his eyes, shame washing over him, “Not that night.”

“Not that night?” Marc laughed, incredulous at what he was hearing, no idea how to react, “But you did? You did fuck him? You did fuck my **brother**? Fucking answer me!”

“YES!” Dani barked, regretting it the second he did, the look on Marc’s face stabbing him in the guts, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

“Once or…” Marc shook his head, the look on Dani’s face answering his question, piece slotting together in his mind, snatched moments between the two of them suddenly making sense, “You’ve been having an affair with my brother this whole time?”

“No, no it wasn’t like that…” Dani stepped forward, then stopped, Marc’s fists twitching and Dani aware that a thrown punch would be well deserved, “It really wasn’t like that. We didn’t mean…”

“Oh well if you didn’t mean to end up with your dick in his arse then that’s ok then… We’ll all just live happily ever after, shall we?” Marc shook his head, his eyes burning with fury, the veins in his neck throbbing as he clenched his jaw, knowing he had to ask, “Do you love him?”

*

_“Stop…” Untangling himself, Dani put his hand to his mouth, his eyes wide, “We can’t do this…”_

_On his knees on the floor, another scare with Marc’s heart leading to another moment, Alex closed his eyes, able to feel the sticky mess in his underwear, mess caused by Dani, by him and Dani, rutting against each other like wild animals, “Fuck… What have we done?”_

_“We… It’s just… This…” Dani breathed hard, his cock still hard in his jeans, aware that the guttural sound Alex had made would probably haunt him forever, vomit pooling in his stomach threatening to erupt as realisation set in, “We just need to stay apart, it’s just the situation…”_

*

“Do you love him?” Arms folded, watching his brother, Alex often saying more with his actions and reactions than his words, Marc’s heart almost stopped at the soft nod of the head, “Right…”

“He doesn’t love me though…” Alex looked up, sad and broken, “He loves you… It wasn’t… It wasn’t an affair, not like… He was never going to leave you… We were just… We were scared, so scared…”

“You’ve been fucking my boyfriend behind my back for months,” Marc’s words were spat, tears rolling down his cheeks as he started to lose his composure, feeling like he was losing the two people he loved the most in one swoop, “You hug people when they are scared. You hold hands or cling onto each other… You don’t fuck them, Alex, you don’t fuck them when they are the one guy that your brother loves the most in the whole fucking world…”

“I know…” Sliding onto the floor, his knees pulled up against his chest, Alex sobbed hard, his whole body shaking, “We thought you were dying and it was wrong, so wrong. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. What should I do? What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” Marc swallowed hard, totally clueless what he should do or say next, “I have no idea… I’m going to a hotel. I don’t want to hear from either of you.”

“No, Marc…” Alex tried to scramble to the door, but Marc was gone before he could, disappearing into the alleys of motorhomes, hidden in the darkness, leaving Alex to crash back inside and curl into a ball, crying in pain and shame, wondering what would happen next, wondering if his brother would ever forgive him, wondering if Dani had answered Marc’s question.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey… I thought you’d still be at the par…” Eric frowned, his brother looking awful, “What’s wrong?”

Looking up, his eyes glassy and rimmed red, Dani bit his bottom lip, his shoulders slumped as he shook his head, “Everything… Absolutely everything…”

“What… Dani?” Utterly bewildered, Eric jumped up from the sofa, Dani slumping to the floor, his body shaking like he was crying yet not making a sound, his brother, normally so strong and stoic, looking completely beaten, Eric knelt down, reaching for Dani’s shoulder, “Dani?”

“What have I done?” Voice cracking, adding to the desperate appearance he was sporting, Dani looked lost as he asked Eric again, “What have I done?”

*

Coming out of the bathroom, his plans changed, Dani’s team members re-housed for the evening and their parents packed off to a hotel, Eric grabbed two beers from the fridge as he surveyed the state of his brother; Dani off the floor, curled in the corner of the sofa, his feet on the seat, knees folded so that he could rest his chin on them, his hands covered by his hoodie sleeves and looking about fifteen years old, “I take it this is about Alex?”

“What?” Head snapping up, Eric’s voice piercing through the fog of thought in his brain, Dani looked shocked, “How?”

Offering Dani one of the beers, putting it on the floor when he shook his head, Eric took a swig from his own bottle, shrugging slightly, “I guessed something happened between you a while back… You were kind of weird with each other. I figured you’d had a row over Marc’s care at first…”

“I wish we had…”

Watching Dani, never having seen his big brother this broken, Eric put his practical head on for a moment, “It wasn’t public, was it? The find out, row, whatever it was?”

“No,” Shaking his head sadly, Dani brought one of his hands to his mouth, biting the nail of his thumb, a habit his mother had tried endlessly to cure him of since he was around five, “Some Honda people might have guessed something, but not what.”

“Ok, that’s good…”

“None of it is good,” Closing his eyes, Dani bit the inside of his cheek, willing himself not to cry again, “I slept with Alex.”

“One off?”

“No,” Eyes still shut, not wanting to see Eric’s disappointment in him, Dani shook his head softly, “Five times… And maybe a half… I think… I dunno… I… This… I’ve never done this before…”

Frowning, wondering what a half time could mean, but sensing it wasn’t the right time to ask, Eric pushed gently, “Did Marc catch you together?”

“He heard us. Talking…” Resting his head against his knees, hiding his face, it burning with shame, Dani let out a soft sob, “Alex asked me if I loved him…”

Reaching to put a hand on Dani, not approving, but knowing his brother needed something, and was the vast majority of the time a good person, Eric squeezed Dani’s hand, “Do you?”

“I don’t know,” Breaking, lifting his head and looking at Eric with wild eyes, Dani cried, “I don’t know and I don’t know why I don’t know and I don’t know what to do and I don’t know why this happened and I don’t know **anything** anymore… What have I done? When did I become this person? How did I become this person? What have I done, Eric, what have I done?”

*

_“You are both exhausted…” Roser held out the keycard, Cervera too far from Barcelona for any of them to go home, taking her firm tone with Alex and Dani, “You’ll be no good to him if you kill yourselves… Shower, eat, sleep… In that order… Go now…”_

*

“We didn’t… Nothing happened… You have to believe me,” Imploring his brother with his eyes and tone, Dani wiped his eyes with his sleeve, “We had a shower, me first and then Alex… Then we had room service and then we slept…”

Remembering the long hours at the hospital, Dani and Alex refusing to leave Marc’s side, the crash seemingly innocuous until Marc collapsed to the floor, the bump to the head worse than anyone could have imagined when he bounced back up, Eric nodded, “I believe you.”

“When I woke up in the morning… We were cuddle up, we must have moved in the night…” Dani closed his eyes, half cringing at the shame, half twitching at the memory of the first nice moment in two long weeks.

*

_“Sorry if I snored…”_

_“It’s ok…”_

_“Your Mama was right, I did need sleep,” Dani yawned, stretching out, both of them almost unaware of the fact that they were curled around each other, each only in boxers, morning erections present, something natural about being there, having spent almost every minute together for two weeks, “What time is it?”_

_Alex reached out to the bedside cabinet, grabbing his phone to check, yawning at the digits on the screen, “Just after six…”_

_“Have you ever seen six am before?” Dani laughed softly, looking up at Alex, the younger man prodding his side for his cheek, “Ah, yeah, sorry, you aren’t a teenager anymore, I forgot…”_

_Setting his alarm for seven-thirty, Alex rolled onto his side, somehow not feeling awkward rolling closer to Dani, “Let’s sleep for a bit longer, then order breakfast and then we’ll go back, yeah?”_

_“Yeah?” Kissing Alex’s cheek, no thought in it, Dani snuggled down, the younger pulling the duvet up higher, enveloping them both in a cocoon, protected from the world outside and anything that wasn’t the cosy warmth._

*

Listening carefully, taking the role Dani had played for him on numerous occasions, Eric shrugged his shoulders slightly, his tone soft, careful to word things so Dani didn’t feel judged, worried his brother would just go into hiding, “It sounds like you both needed someone to look after, and to look after you…”

“We did…” Dani shook his head, looking bereft, furious with himself for what he’d done, “If we’d stayed like that it would be fine…”

“But you didn’t?”

“No,” Biting his lip again, more tears threatening, Dani cursed, remembering the day the doctors had told them that Marc would be ok, that all the tests were good – he’d see and hear and remember and learn and speak just as he always had – and they’d been banished from the hospital early to celebrate and relax, “Why didn’t I just come home? I should have come home.”

Saying nothing, sensing Dani needed to speak, Eric winced inside at the mention of the pair of them drinking in the hotel bar, seeing, for the first time ever, his brother making the same mistakes he had time and again, the pain etched on Dani’s face as he spoke making Eric feel heart sorry for him, despite what he’d done, Dani in pieces, Eric left wondering how Marc and Alex were.

*

_“This isn’t working…” Alex pouted, puffing out his cheeks, holding up the keycard like it had completely offended him, “Hey! Why you no work?”_

_Dani giggled, leaning on the wall opposite the door Alex was trying to open, too much alcohol on top of too little food and too much stress making him considerably more drunk than he’d been for a long time, “I know why it no work… It’s the wrong door!”_

_“No, we are six-oh-four and this one is… Five-oh-four...Oops…” Pointing at the door number, the drunk duo on the fifth floor rather than the sixth, Alex giggled, grabbing Dani’s arm as the ran back to the lift, like two extremely drunk criminal masterminds, “Press the button Dani, quick, quick!”_

_Finally finding their way into their own room, they both groaned, remembering as soon as the door opened that they meant to speak to reception, to get the double switched to a twin, “Fuck, I forgot…”_

_“I forgot too… One more night of spooning Dani Pedrosa and then we change room in the morning,” Alex kicked off his shoes, pinging one off with such force it almost hit him in the face, that making them both laugh like they were at the funniest comedy show, “He’s gonna be alright Dani, he’s made it…”_

_Sensing Alex’s emotion through the drunk, Dani wrapped the taller man in a hug, “He’s ok. Just like you said he would be.”_

_“I’m so glad you’ve been here,” Alex pressed a kiss into Dani’s hair, the pair staying wrapped around each other, wobbling slightly from side-to-side, “I don’t know what I’d have done without you here.”_

_Dani shrugged, looking up then knowing instantly that was the wrong thing to do, Alex’s eyes drilling into his, both of them licking their lips at the same time, then cringing at the fact they had, knowing they should step back, but not doing so, saying and doing nothing until Dani’s mouth was full of the taste of Alex’s tongue, and his tongue was chasing Alex’s around Alex’s mouth, and then they were falling onto the bed, tugging at clothes and losing themselves in each other._

*

“Don’t try and hide the look Eric,” Dani shrugged, defeated and guilty, “I deserve every look and word I’m going to get… I deserve it all.”

Eric shook his head, wrapping his arm around Dani’s shoulder, realising too late that he’d picked the wrong words, his choice making Dani go white and wail like a wounded animal, “I’m your brother, I’ve always got your back.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments so far! I'm glad you are enjoying (enduring??) this one!

Sitting on the floor of his hotel room, bottle of beer in one hand, mobile phone in the other, Marc looked at the screen, before realising with a sharp pain in his gut that the two people he’d call, the two people he’d turn too in this situation, in _any_ situation, were the ones who’d put him here. Chucking his phone aside he rested his elbows on his knees, his chest pressing against his thighs, his eyes closing as he took a long swig of beer, trying to decide if he needed to keep replaying in the conversations over and over in his mind or try to forget they ever happened.

*

_“How many times?” Breaking the silence that had fallen between them, Marc’s voice was more hurt than angry, his gaze falling on Dani again, “How many times have you fucked my brother?”_

_“Please stop saying it like that…” Dani looked at Marc, the younger man holding his eye for a second before looking away, the look of hurt and disgust on his face making Dani want to vomit, “We didn’t mean for this to happen, I promise you, I…”_

_“Your promise means very little right now…” Curt, sharp because he had to be, because he had to hurt Dani like Dani had hurt him, Marc folded his arms, feeling the need to build a shield between them, “How many times?”_

_“Five…” His voice almost a whisper, Dani looked at his feet, it sounding so cold and clinical put into simple words, words not conveying the unplanned moments that had led to places he had never expected to go, “I’m sorry.”_

_“ **That** means about as much as your promise…” Marc turned on his heel, freezing as Dani’s hand reached out, catching his arm, “Let me go… I need to go and I don’t want to speak to you right now.”_

_“Will you ever want to speak to me again?” Dani winced as he heard himself, knowing he had no right to ask anything of the younger man, unsurprised when the back stayed turned and the words that came back to him were sharp and painful._

_“I’ve no idea… Nothing is simple anymore…” Throwing the last barb he ignore the sound of Dani sobbing as he walked away, needing to speak to Alex, praying someone, anyone, would tell him it was all a big joke gone wrong, Marc quickly avoided the Honda faces inside the building as he headed for the cold night air again, his entire world caving in around his ears.  
_

*

Something snapping inside him Marc picked up his phone, scrolling through his contacts until he found the one he wanted, the one he wasn’t sure he had, a plan forming in his brain, “Bingo…”

+641 564 234

| 

 

| 

Did you still have the same opinion that you had at the gala last year?  
  
---|---|---  
  
+612 768 801

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That depends what the opinion was and who this is???  
  
+641 564 234

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It’s Marc…  
  
+612 768 801

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Which opinion?  
  
+641 564 234

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I’m sure you know which one I mean…  
  
+612 768 801

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Ah, you mean the ‘if you were single…’ one?  
  
+641 564 234

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Yep… Are you still in Valencia?  
  
+612 768 801

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| 

I am. So is your other half as far as I’m aware?  
  
+641 564 234

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| 

I’m single.  
  
+612 768 801

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Since when?  
  
+641 564 234

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I didn’t text you for chitchat or counselling…  
  
+612 768 801

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Why did you text me then?  
  
+641 564 234

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I’m in the Primus Valencia. Room 404. I’m going to the bar in one hour and I don’t intend to come back to my room alone…  
  
+612 768 801

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Why now?  
  
+641 564 234

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Because I’m single, horny and curious.  
  
+612 768 801

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I don’t do relationships. I’m not Dani.  
  
+641 564 234

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If you were Dani we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Clock is ticking…  
  
 *

_“Did he fuck you?”_

_Pleading with his brother, Marc wanting details Alex couldn’t understand him wanting to know, Alex gave in when Marc steadfastly started at him, silently demanding answers, Alex knowing he owed him whatever he wanted, breaking his brother's heart as he nodded, “Yes.”_

_“Every time?” Biting his bottom lip, the details like picking at a scab, he knew he’d hate to know them, but he **had** to ask, Alex's nod somehow not making him feel any better, Marc sounded cold and bitter, “Did he use a condom?”_

_Alex’s face burned bright red, shame making his stomach lurch, the sound of him retching bouncing off the walls, “Marc, please…”_

_“No, you don’t get to say please, you just answer questions…” Marc’s openly hostile tone made his brother cry again, Marc unflinching, “Did he use a condom?”_

_“Not…” Alex winced, hating himself for the words he was about to use, the sounds barely a whisper, “Not each time.”_

_“So, sometimes when you fucked my boyfriend you were careful and sometimes you weren’t… Great…” His voice dripping with sarcasm, Marc clapped his hands, “Well done Alex, well done… I’m so proud of you…”_

*

“I’m not sure this is a good idea…”

Smirking wide, Marc glanced into the corridor before fisting his hand in the other man’s shirt, in reality them both knowing that by showing up the other had made this inevitable, hauling him inside and slamming the door as he pushed him against the wall, crashing their mouths together into a kiss full of teeth and tongue, desperation taking over as he pressed himself again him, both of them quickly hard, Marc letting out a whimper as fingers tugged on his hair hard and the other tongue marauded around his mouth, leaving him breathless as he pulled away, “Want me to prove to you it was the best idea?”

“How are you… Oh…” Thumping his head back against the wall as Marc dropped to his knees, his fingers making quick work of trivialities like belts and jean buttons, “Wait… Are you sure about th…” Hissing as a tongue flicked over his end, figuring Marc and Dani must be history for Marc to be swallowing him down whole, it somehow surprisingly unsurprising that Marc was good at something else, feeling as if his mouth was made for sin as he hollowed his cheeks as he sucked, devilment in his eyes as he looked up through long eyelashes, brown eyes even darker as he watched as his mouth took apart the other, “Your call Marquez… Fuck… Jesus Christ you are… Oh… Fuck…”

Making a show of licking his lips, catching the droplet of cum at the corner of his mouth, Marc pulled his shirt over his head, hands on his own belt, “Fuck sounds like a good idea to me…”


	4. Chapter 4

“Your Mama is worried about you…” Guille put his key down on the table, unsure how Alex would react to his arrival, “She thought it might be better if I came…”

Drunk, the half-empty bottle of vodka next to him on the floor, Alex shook his head, disconsolate, “Even my Mama hates me.”

“Nobody hates you mate,” Guille winced slightly as he spoke, not sure that his statement was entirely accurate, “I don’t think vodka is going to help…”

Picking up the bottle, his hands shaking, his body entirely unused to such a high volume of alcohol, Alex shrugged, everything seeming pointless, “Nothing is going to help…”

“Should I make you something to eat?” Feeling pretty useless, Guille opened the fridge, taking out the eggs even though Alex had ignored the question in favour of vodka and tears, everything seemingly bringing up a memory for the younger man, “Omelette?”

*

_“Omelette or poached eggs?” Dani frowned, the fridge door open, giving Alex an apologetic look, “I really need to go shopping…”_

_Picking up a takeaway menu, Alex held it up, “One more night of pizza?”_

_“By the time your brother wakes up we’ll be unrecognisably fat…” Dani laughed, before his laugh caught in his throat and became a sob, “Sorry.”_

_Getting up from the sofa, Alex pulled Dani into a hug, Dani’s tears dampening his shirt, “Come on, he’ll be ok.”_

_“What if he’s…”_

_Shaking his head, his heart thumping, Alex frowned, voice quiet, forcing them to contemplate the worst, “Don’t…”_

*

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sitting on the floor next to Alex, bottle of beer in his hand, joining in the only way to make Alex switch from vodka to beer, Guille smiled kindly.

Alex shrugged, his eyes red raw and sore, everything aching and entirely full of remorse, “What is there to say? I did something awful and now I will have to live with that.”

“Do you love him? Dani, I mean,” Guille bit on his lip, the question cheeky, but it somehow more palatable to him personally if there was something behind it.

Alex closed his eyes, the tiniest hint of a smile on his face as he nodded, “He’s amazing… He’s so much more than people realise…”

“Hmm.”

Alex shrugged, honesty all over his face, “I know that doesn’t make me sound like a good person, but I didn’t mean for anything to happen. Everything was just so…”

*

_“I don’t understand,” Looking at his parents and Dani, Alex frowned in confusion before looking back at the doctor, “He was ok yesterday. We were here, he was talking and laughing…”_

_The doctor nodded, understanding the confusion, as he tried to explain, “This morning one of the nurses noticed that Marc’s speech was a little slurred and he mentioned that he had a small amount of blurred vision again… We took him for a scan straight away and discovered that he had another bleed so he was taken down to theatre.”_

_“Why is he not awake?” Dani pulled his sleeves over his hands, something in the doctor’s tone ringing alarm bells to him._

_“Honestly, we don’t know…” The doctor paused for a second, waiting for his honesty to sink in, “It’s quite possible that Marc’s brain is just a bit swollen and bruised from another surgery. The fact he came around so well after the first surgery is a good sign. He’s strong, fit and healthy; these are all good things in his favour…”_

_“But?” Alex bit his lip, sensing the words the doctor wasn’t saying, “There’s a but in that sentence, isn’t there?”_

_“There is,” The doctor nodded, “The fact that there was a new bleed isn’t good. The fact that Marc hasn’t come around yet is very worrying. However, he is responding to pain stimuli, which is good and his pupils are reactive to light. So, we just have to wait. Please keep talking to him, patients in Marc’s condition are often able to hear and familiar voices will help. I will be around if you have any questions at anytime and I’ll look in on Marc this afternoon.”_

_“A coma… Yesterday he was laughing and talking…” Dani chewed on his bottom lip, his world crashing again, lacing his fingers with Alex’s when the younger man reached for his hand, “How is this happening? They said he was ok, they said he was going to be ok.”_

_“He will be,” Squeezing Dani’s hand, trying to convince himself as well as the older, “He will be ok.”_

*

“That night we…” Alex paused, turning to Guille, concern in his eyes, desperate not to lose the third person he was closest too, “Is this ok? Are you sure you don’t mind?”

Guille smiled kindly, shrugging his shoulders, “I’m your friend, you need to talk, so…”

“Thank you,” Alex acknowledged Guille politely, truly grateful that his friend hadn’t abandoned him, “It just happened… One minute we were drinking and crying… We’d said it would be a one-off, before… Sorry.”

Putting an arm around Alex’s shoulders, letting the younger rest his head against his shoulder, Guille pushed him gently, “Go on…”

“It just felt… We were like zombies, everything was so confusing and frightening…” Alex bit his lip, stuttering his words, tears rolling down his face, “It felt like an escape, just for a little while…”

*

_“Dani…” Alex whimpered into the pillow, their clothes torn off, chucked aside as they kissed like two people fighting for their lives, Dani’s tongue slathering attention on Alex’s hole, a line of red marks leading down Alex’s spine, Dani’s teeth nipping the trail until he reached the spot that made Alex wail loud, “Please…”_

_Shaking the bottle of lube, cursing as only a small amount came out, Dani slicked up two fingers, breaching Alex roughly, everything having that edge between them, both of them groaning when Dani found that spot, Alex’s sounds making Dani curse, “I need…”_

_“Do it…” Knowing he wasn’t quite ready, but craving Dani so much he accepted the pain, perhaps even needed it, Alex bit the pillow as Dani pushed his cock against him, his body screaming as Dani pushed in, the sting like being thrown along the gravel, burning as he pushed deeper, “Fuuuuck… Wait…”_

_Stilling, his fingers digging hard into Alex’s hips, leaving bruises that would make them both blush with shame the following day, Dani bit his lip, tasting copper again, Alex having drawn blood when they kissed, every ounce of willpower required not to move until Alex was ready, the younger man barely getting the word out before Dani’s hips had pulled back and slammed back in, both of them cursing loud as their skin slapped together hard, everything bad forgotten as they both chased their climax._

*

“I didn’t mean to hurt Marc,” Alex wept softly on Guille’s shoulder, “I love him. He’s my brother. He was sick and I betrayed him. What have I done?”

Holding Alex tight, his friend an absolute state, Guille surreptitiously texted Hector, the PR man the one who called him, both of them worried about their friends, the situation potentially unfixable in Guille’s eyes _,_ that a first for anyone who knew the brothers. _  
_


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

" _Are you sure this is a good idea_..." Marc mimicked Jorge as he pushed his trousers and boxers to the floor in one movement, leaving himself completely naked in front of his biggest rival, his cock already hard as he wrapped a hand around it, "if you want to talk and cry then you are in the wrong hotel room..."

Stepping out of his jeans, his cock still sticky from Marc's mouth, Jorge fixed the younger with a look, hands on the hem if his t-shirt, "One question; who ended it?"

"Dani," Marc shrugged, pretending he wasn't heartbroken, hoping all of Emilio’s media training was working, "He met someone else... I'm not trying to marry you, nor am I after a counselling session..."

Pulling his shirt over his head, casting it aside, Jorge removed his watch, placing it on the table before crossing the room to stand in front of Marc, running his index finger down Marc's right arm, tracing lightly over the skin before he was following the path of Marc's thumb, making the younger hiss as he ran over his cock, collecting pre-cum, "What are you after?"

You..." Marc licked Jorge’s finger as the elder held it up for him, tasting himself and smirking at the low grown escaping Jorge's throat, "...inside me..."

Jorge pretended to ponder for a second as he slid his hand around Marc's neck, tangling fingers in Marc’s hair, tugging his head slightly to the side, getting him in the position he wanted him in before smiling, sharing a few words before crashing their mouths together, "Never had Pedrosa down as an idiot..."

*

Jorge smirked, cracking his hand down on Marc's ass, a red line of nips visible down the younger' spine, Marc whimper as his skin turned pink, "I should have known you'd have a pain kink..."

Fuck..." Marc took in a sharp breath as Jorge slapped both of his hands down on Marc's cheeks, the sting burning through him, hit yet making him shiver, "Fuck me..."

Chuckling, a deep, low, sound Jorge brought his hands down again, Marc's skin changing colour, the pink getting redder with each slap, occasionally teasing Marc's hole with the tip of a finger, the younger man wriggling and writhing under him, his cock rock hard and leaker, Jorge's not any softer, Jorge nipped a mark in the middle of Marc's left cheek, making Marc yowl, "You have no idea how fucking hard I wanted to take you every time you laughed on the podium..."

"Do it..." Marc pushed back as Jorge's finger circled his hole again, sweat dripping down his forehead, "Do it, fuck me hard... Like you wanted too then..."

Jorge chuckled again, Marc grunting as he pushed his finger into him, pressing pass all resistance until Marc's body was swallowing him up, torn between hauling him in deeper and pushing him back out. Sliding his finger back out, Jorge reached for the lube Marc had pulled from a drawer, making a show, more a _sound show_ , of lubing up his fingers and his cock, "How much do you want it?"

"I..." Marc whimpered as Jorge thrust two slick fingers into him, firm and bossy, stretching him wider, not enough to hurt hurt, but enough to stretch, "I want it... I _really_ want it..."

Removing his fingers, Jorge lined himself up at Marc's opening, his cock nudging against him, "Go on then... Take what you want..."

*

“Fuck…” Jorge gripped Marc’s hips, his voice hoarse as he dug his fingertips into Marc’s skin, neither caring about the inevitable bruises as they both shivered, Jorge’s cock fully buried in Marc, skin touching skin, nothing separating them as Marc breathed hard, his body yelling at him for moving too fast, “Christ you are lethal…”

Marc pressed his face into the pillow, his head spinning at the lack of oxygen, partly because of the pillow and partly because of the rapid breaths he was taking to pull himself through the pain. Ignoring the siren screaming in his head, Marc bit his lip, breathing still shallow and rapid as he began to move, sliding himself down Jorge’s shaft, before screaming as Jorge snapped his hips and refilled him, the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room, “Please…”

*

“Pleasepleasepleaseplease…” Marc trembled as Jorge’s rhythm started to falter, crying out Jorge’s name as the older man hit his prostate again and again, “Pleasepleaseplease…”

Unsteadily slipping his hand around Marc’s waist, Jorge fumbled a fist around his cock, the wail from Marc glorious as Jorge stroked him in uncoordinated strokes, both of them hurtling toward the edge, “Come on… Come on…”

“PleasepleaseFUCK…” Marc’s body tensed as he hit the wall, the clenching making Jorge curse, time slowing as his body trembled from top to toe, his balls clenching as he spurted over Jorge’s hand, tears instantly pooling in his eyes, that making him press his face harder into the pillow as Jorge thrust into his over-sensitive hole twice more before he collapsed on top of Marc, his spunk filling Marc up, “Fuck…”

Pulling out carefully, unable to resist pushing a small amount of leaking cum back into Marc, equally unable to resist grinning at the over-sensitive wail from the boneless bundle in front of him, Jorge rolled onto his side, sweaty and panting, “Fucking hell Marquez… Is there anything you aren’t good at?”

*

Sitting on the edge of the bed, fastening his watch, Jorge looked at Marc, the younger man still sprawled in bed, “You ok?”

“Yeah…” Marc looked up, putting on a smirk, “Just _completely_ fucked…”

Jorge chuckled, shaking his head, licking his lips as Marc moved and the red marks that littered his back, and the one on his arse, became visible as the duvet slipped, “I hope that feels better by Tuesday…”

“Don’t care,” Marc shrugged, deliberately moving that so that Jorge got an eyeful of the dried cum between his cheeks, “When do you leave? Wednesday night?”

Looking at Marc, hint of suspicion on his face, Jorge stood up, grabbing his hoodie from the back of the chair, “Why?”

“Just wondering if we’ve time for another round before the break…”

Shaking his head, grin on his face, Jorge put on his hoodie, stifling a groan as Marc rolled over, the younger man hiding nothing, “I thought you wanted a one off?”

“That was before I knew how good you were,” Marc cackled, stretching his neck from side-to-side, “Don’t panic Jorge, I still don’t want to marry you… However, if you fancy a round two then I’d be up for it.”

Nodding, his sensible brain telling him no, but his cock and eyes overruling, Jorge shrugged, pretending there wasn’t already a guarantee of a second round, “Maybe.”

“Yeah,” Marc laughed as Jorge headed for the door, “ _Maybe_ I’ll see you on Wednesday…”

*

Emilio

| 

 

| 

Where are you? Are you ok? Are you coming for the test? Your mother is frantic.  
  
---|---|---  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I’m fine. I’m coming for the test. Single test – no shared data. I don’t care what Honda know, but I’m not working with Dani. I’ll text Mama.  
  
Emilio

| 

 

| 

Where are you?  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I’m safe. I just need to be on my own for a bit. I’ll see you on Tuesday.  
  
Emilio

| 

 

| 

Marc, let me help. Please.  
  
Emilio

| 

 

| 

Marc???  
  
*

Marc

| 

 

| 

I’m fine. Don’t worry. I’ll be at the test on Tuesday.  
  
---|---|---  
  
Mama

| 

 

| 

Where are you baby?  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I’m fine Mama. Just need some space.  
  
Mama

| 

 

| 

We need to talk. Have a family meeting and get this all sorted out?  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

There’s nothing to sort Mama. I’m fine. I’ll see you on Tuesday.  
  
Mama

| 

 

| 

Where are you? Please tell me. I don’t know where either of you are and it scares me. Have you spoken to your brother?  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I’m fine Mama. I just need some time to myself.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

And no, I haven’t spoken to him. I don’t intend to speak to him either.  
  
Mama

| 

 

| 

We can fix this. There will be a way, we’ll find it.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

There isn’t and we won’t. I love you Mama, but I no longer have a brother. I’ll see you on Tuesday.  
  
Mama

| 

 

| 

Oh, baby please tell me where you are?  
  
Mama

| 

 

| 

Marc? Please. I hate the thought of you on your own.  
  
Mama

| 

 

| 

I love you x  
  
*

Alex

| 

 

| 

I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry.  
  
---|---|---  
  
*

Jose Luis

| 

 

| 

Hey. What’s the plans for Tuesday? Want me to build a wall?  
  
---|---|---  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Lol, you? Didn’t your garden wall collapse?  
  
Jose Luis

| 

 

| 

I’ll make sure it’s leaning slightly the other way so if it does it doesn’t collapse on us ;-)  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Good plan. Plan is as its always been.  
  
Jose Luis

| 

 

| 

Ok. Hope you are somewhere good. See you Tuesday morning.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

See you then. And thanks.  
  
Jose Luis

| 

 

| 

Anytime. Anything you need, just tell.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Thanks. I’m fine  
  
Putting his beer down on the floor, his body aching from the exertions with Jorge, parts of him stinging where bruises were flourishing, Marc wiped a tear with his thumb, pulling the duvet down from the bed and around his shoulders, “I’m fine.”

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

“Lose the smirk Marquez…” Jorge wandered into the room, Marc having basically summoned him by text, “Texting me _that_ while we were in the hotel restaurant with our teams… Really?”

Pulling his shirt over his head, confidence high after Jorge had basically admitted during a winter hook-up that he found sex with Marc addictive, Marc clasped his hands behind his back, that pushing the chest Jorge had openly admired up and out, “You came though so…”

“I did… Although…” Reaching out, hooking his fingers into the belt loops on Marc’s denim shorts, Jorge hauled the younger man forward, stepping back himself until he was against the door, and Marc was against him, their crotches almost level and interested despite the sticky Malaysian heat, “Maybe not completely yet…”

Licking his lips, Jorge looking at him like he wanted to devour him, Marc wrapped his arms around Jorge’s neck, always doing the opposite to what he did with Dani, pausing for a second before crashing their mouths together, their kisses always full of teeth and tongue, pawing hands and desperate noises a feature as they rutted against each other, escaping the pressure of pre-season testing for a while.

*

“Bed…” Pulling away from Jorge, both of them with their trousers and pants at the ankles, Marc’s hips twitched, Jorge’s hand wrapped around them both, “Please… I want you…”

Snatching his hand away at the sound of a knock to the door Jorge froze, both of them wide-eyed and terrified at the idea of being caught together. Silently mouthing the words, Jorge’s hands trembled, “Who is it?”

“I don’t know,” Also whispering, feeling very naked and very vulnerable, Marc bit his lip hard, staying quiet through three more knocks, not moving for at least ten minutes before he felt brave enough to whisper, “Do you think they are gone?”

Jorge shrugged, stepping out of his trousers as quietly as he could before picking them up, scampering for the safety of the bathroom as another knock echoed around the room, “Find out who it is…”

“Marc?” Marc’s heart sank as the voice yelled through the door, four quick knocks in succession telling him that the owner wasn’t leaving, “I know you are in there… Your team told me you were here. We need to talk. Please…”

Putting on his jeans, standing in the doorway of the bathroom, Jorge watched Marc’s reactions to Dani, something not quite falling into place, the nonchalance he’d shown toward his ex during their five winter hook ups suddenly gone, as if hearing Dani’s voice caused him physical pain.

“We can’t avoid each other all year…”

“I’ve got nothing to say to you. Go away.”

“Marc please,” Dani folded his arms, prepared to stand in the corridor for hours if that’s what it took, everyone around Marc concerned about him, “We’ve got to work together.”

“No, we don’t.”

“We do, for the team…”

“Santi will work with Giacomo for anything that the team needs,” Pulling up his boxers, Marc kicked his shorts aside, “So we have nothing to say to each other. Go away.”

“I know I hurt you,” Moving closer to the door, his hands reaching out to lean on it, Dani’s shoulders dropped low, “I’m sorry.”

“Go away Dani,” His jaw clenched, Marc’s tone changed, it not shouting, but almost, “Just leave me alone.”

“Ok…” Defeated, Dani nodded, tears stinging his eyes as he walked away, “Sorry.”

“So,” Marc turned to Jorge, the smile on his face most certainly his PR smile, “Where were we?”

Jorge shook his head, eying Marc with suspicion, any hint of sadness or anger gone, Jorge knowing that gone actually meant hidden, “You are pretty good at hiding when you hurt…”

“Aren’t we all?” Pushing his boxers to the floor, Marc stalked across the room, bringing a hand to Jorge’s neck and pulling him into a kiss, his tongue instantly seeking access to Jorge’s mouth, the kiss more needy and desperate than bossy, Jorge gave in with a sigh, pulling the naked younger man toward him, Marc whining as his half hard cock came into contact with the denim of Jorge’s jeans, the friction teasing, enough to have Marc walking backwards toward the bed, their mouths still mashed together the whole way.

*

“ _Fuuuuuck_ ….” Jorge counted to ten in his head, the first push into Marc always almost enough to make him explode in seconds, the younger’s wicked chuckle as he clenched around Jorge, “If you want this to last then stop it…”

Marc cackled, loud and cheeky, until Jorge grabbed his cock with his left hand, squeezing him rough enough to be a confusing mix of painful and glorious, Jorge’s turn to chuckle when he rubbed his thumb over Marc’s tip, spreading pre-cum around in a way that make Marc keen, “Okok! No more teasing, please just…”

“MARC! Marc, you **need** to let me in, PLEASE!”

Growling as Jorge pulled out of him painfully quickly, Marc flipped onto his stomach, reaching for Jorge, his face and eyes flashing as Jorge shook his head and moved out of reach, “Fuck off Dani!”

“I can’t…” The thump of his forehead connecting with the door echoing around Marc’s hotel room, Dani’s voice began to crack, “I need to know how to fix this… At least how I fix it for you two, I _hate_ that I’ve damaged your relationship… Please tell me what to do.”

“Fuck off, Dani, that’s what you need to do,” Marc bit his lip hard, furious that Dani was at his door, furious that the pain in his stomach had been reopened, furious that he could see the way Jorge was looking at him, analysing the revelation that Marc knew Dani’s new lover, “Leave me alone.”

“It was so hard, you know… When you were in hospital…” Dani’s voice was different, higher pitched than normal, the gulpy swallows audible, that alone painting a picture in Marc, and Jorge’s, mind of the tears on the older man’s face as he spoke, “We thought you were going to die. I thought you were going to die. I was so scared and it was lonely.”

“Well, you’re not lonely anymore,” Bitterness boiling over, Marc rolled to the side of the bed, storming to the door and making Jorge and Dani jump when he punched it, hard, his voice a loud hiss, hatred in the tone that neither man had ever heard from him before, “Leave. Me. Alone.”

“Ok,” Sobbing, totally uncaring about the strange looks he was getting from people passing in the corridor, Dani sniffed hard, “Ok, I will. I’m sorry. Just… Please just speak to Alex…”

Jorge’s eyes widened, wondering for a second if Dani meant what it sounded like Dani meant, then he spotted the way Marc, still facing the door, tensed, things suddenly falling into place - Marc’s availability over winter, the neediness in the sex, the lack of constant interruption from texts and calls from his brother, “No…”

“Just speak to him please. He’s your brother… It was my fault, it was all my fault.”

Silence hung over the room for a few minutes, Dani obviously walking away from the door, Marc remaining motionless as he faced it, a single tear rolling down his cheek, “Are you ok? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Marc shrugged, still facing the door, unable to admit that the reason he hadn’t said was because he couldn’t, he couldn’t say the words, admit the betrayal, and mostly because he couldn’t face seeing the pity that everyone had on Jorge’s face as well, “He met someone else.”

“Not quite accurate…” Jorge grabbed his boxers, his brain swimming as he tried to work out what do, before he sighed, hard, “Marc, I…”

Shaking his head, Marc’s voice was barely a whisper, “Don’t… Just don’t. Just get dressed and go. Please.”

“Marc, I think…” Jorge put his hands on his hips, confused about what he should do next as Marc went to the bathroom, the door locking for the first time since they’d first hooked up, “I’m not leaving you like this.”

Muffled by the door, but not enough to hide the fact he’d obviously shed silent tears, Marc’s reply was sharp, and angry, “I don’t need your pity. I’ll be fine.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt it…” Jorge looked at the t-shirt Marc had cast aside, his title winning celebration shirt, his way of teasing Jorge into ripping it off, Jorge chuckled darkly, knowing if he left he’d never get back in, “I don’t pity you – I just need to make sure this isn’t going to inspire you into going even fucking faster…”

Laughing, properly, mingled with the tears, Marc shook his head, “Fuck you!”

“Yeah,” Jorge laughed, unsure if deciding to ignore what he knew and had heard was a good plan, but it the only one he could come up with, “That was kinda the point…”

Wiping his eyes, Marc opened the bathroom door, eyeing Jorge with suspicion, “One word of pity…”

“It’s zipped…” Jorge mimicked sipping his lips, barely getting his hand back by his side when Marc stalked across the room and claimed them with his, everything in the kiss and the way his hands instantly went to Jorge’s ass could only be described as desperate; desperate to take, to control, to numb the pain and forget.

*

“Dani?”

Opening the door, the sound coming from his brother’s room animalistic, Eric’s eyes widened, Dani on the floor, curled into a ball, rocking as he wept, his stoicism over winter gone, the sliver of hope that he could fix at least part of it, if not for him then for Alex and Marc, all gone, his world shattered into pieces again, this time at his own doing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok. So... I've struggled a little bit on decided where to go with this. So I've decided to torture myself (and you) a little bit more. The three chapters after this one are going to be a slight Sliding Doors theme. It's going to be Marc, Dani and Alex - the same scene, the different takes on it and the ways that it was almost so very different.
> 
> I have no idea if it is going to work or not, but I hope it does!

Testing was awkward, to say the least, but everyone got on with what they had to get on with. Fans and commentators watching the timing screens pondered what Marc had been up to over winter, the other MotoGP riders who knew cursed the end of his relationship with Dani – their belief that being with Dani made him faster absolutely smashed when he topped every session bar one, mostly by more than half a second.

The one session that Marc didn’t top was the one that made Dani’s heart stop, his eyes fixed forward when he heard the words “he’s down”, desperately trying not to look anywhere except forward, avoiding his own team, whose eyes were constantly pitying him, and even more so, avoiding Marc’s team, whose eyes constantly said “this is your fault.” Thankfully he got back up and dusted himself down, regaining top spot after lunch in tatty leathers.

Off track things stayed the same – Marc fucked Jorge, well, Marc let Jorge fuck him, harder and more desperate, and more frequently, the closer the season came, still steadfastly refusing to discuss the situation.

Dani stayed quiet and went home to Geneva, by himself, declining invitations from his friends and family, his quiet almost-exile, something he needed to do; it the space to cry, shout and smash plates, it the opportunity to replay his mistakes over and over in his head, until he cried himself to sleep before starting the day determined to move on, his home gym where he started, before ultimately sinking into despair again as the sun set and things got dark literally and metaphorically.

Alex stayed with Guille, firmly of the belief he should be the one to leave the family home, kissing his mother politely when she begged him to stay, reminding her that it was his fault, so he should be the one to suffer. Cut off, mostly at his own hand, Alex trained, hard, rebuilding his strength in his arms, perfecting his diet and working harder than he’d ever worked, the only smile on his face being when his team teased him that if he did anymore practise they’d have to start calling him Tito.

Even when the season started things stayed like this. Flyaway races were different. You could stay in a different hotel, take a different lift, eat in a different restaurant – you could avoid the people, or person, you wanted to avoid. Occasionally, if you get pole, and your brother gets pole, then you have to pretend. You have to put on the jovial smiles and happy tones, and pretend that you are proud. Maybe you are a bit proud, but mostly you hurt because you can see the truth in the eyes.

Flyaway races, you realise when you hit Jerez, may seem hard, but they weren’t. They were easy because there was an escape. In Jerez, there is no escape. Instead, when there are three Spaniards on top in MotoGP, a Spaniard on pole in Moto2 and another in Moto3, there is a photoshoot. With your brother, and him, and Jorge who seems like he knows _something_ , and at that moment you hate Aron Canet with every fibre of your being because on every single lap since he’d made the same mistake over and over again, but then he didn’t, for one lap he nailed it, which put him on pole, and made this photoshoot happen.

*

Hanging around the little portacabin, waiting for a break in the rain, all of the PR people outside the door, frantically trying to rearrange schedules to fit this photoshoot in, leaving the four of you; you, your brother, him, and Jorge, waiting becauseit was raining and Aron was late, so you hate him a bit more.

“I need a slash…” Pausing slightly as he got up, giving away once and for all that he knew, Jorge wandered to the small bathroom, the door so thin it barely gave him any privacy.

*

“He knows?” Dani was the first to break the stifling silence, a line in his forehead as he thought, trying to piece things together, looking at Marc slightly confused, “You told Jorge?”

Marc shrugged, not looking at Dani, and not replying, just praying Hector or Jose Luis would come back in the door and let him escape this.

“Why?” Dani spoke again, something confusing him, “Why would you tell him?”

Anger bubbling in his stomach, outraged at _Dani_ having the temerity to sound hurt, Marc looked up, dark eyes burning into the older man, “He heard you creating a shit-storm at my door in Sepang.”

“That’s not possible,” Dani shook his head, his brow furrowed with confusion, panicking that he’d made a mistake, that his meticulous checking of who was on Marc’s floor had gone wrong, “Ducati didn’t have any rooms on that floor… Santi and Jordi were either side of you… Carlos opposite and then Hector and Livio…”

Marc shrugged, challenging Dani silently.

“So, how?” Dani looked at Alex, the younger leant against the wall, his eyes on the floor, utterly defeated in the presence of his brother, “How did he hear? Was he with Livio? Does he want to move teams? Are Honda getting rid of me?”

“Maybe they should,” The barb not making him feel any better, Marc smiled at Jorge as the Mallorcan came out of the bathroom, muttering about the disgusting state of the towel, the tense atmosphere making him stop and raise an eyebrow at Marc, that tiny gesture making all of the air leave Dani’s lungs, the gasp loud, “Yeah… You got it.”

“Don’t…” Jorge shook his head, warning, “Marc, don’t.”

“You can’t…” Dani’s voice was almost a whisper, knowing that Marc didn’t do casual sex, and that Jorge didn’t do relationships, “Please, you can’t.”

“Why not?” Marc smirked, triumphant, stepping forward toward Dani, glancing at Alex and then back to Dani, “You did…”

*

What happened next changed everything. Voices were raised, a punch was thrown and someone hit the floor. The loud crack almost as deafening as the silence that followed it.

Sitting in the hospital, not all together, the three who didn’t hit their heads on the table as they fell to the floor, tried to process it all, work out what the fuck happened, and how they could ever move on from here.

Everyone was there, in the same room, but as police statements were taken and recriminations started to fly no two accounts were exactly the same, each seeing things slightly different, each pointing the finger at someone, truly believing that they were the cause of the biggest shitstorm ever to hit the paddock, and they were the cause of the rhythmic beeping of a machine in a Jerez hospital that echoed around the room of the unconscious man.


	8. Chapter 8

Marc's Perspective

“He knows?” Dani was the first to break the stifling silence, a line in his forehead as he thought, trying to piece things together, looking at Marc slightly confused, “You told Jorge?”

Marc shrugged, his eyes on the floor, steadfastly not looking at Dani, and not replying, praying Hector or Jose Luis would come back in the door and let him escape the torture of being trapped in a small space with the two of them.

“Why?” Dani spoke again, something confusing him, “Why would you tell him?”

Anger bubbling in his stomach, outraged at _Dani_ having the temerity to sound hurt, Marc looked up, dark eyes burning into the older man, the temptation to lash out and hurt Dani in return too tempting, “He heard you creating a shit-storm at my door in Sepang.”

“That’s not possible,” Dani shook his head, his brow furrowed with confusion, “Ducati didn’t have any rooms on that floor… Santi and Jordi were either side of you… Carlos opposite and then Hector and Livio…”

Marc shrugged, challenging Dani silently, watching the older man process the words over in his mind, waiting for him to get it, momentarily thinking, with his sensible head that he should walk away, this not helping anyone.

“So, how?” Dani looked at Alex, the younger leant against the wall, his eyes on the floor, utterly defeated in the presence of his brother, “How did he hear? Was he with Livio? Does he want to move teams? Are Honda getting rid of me?”

“Maybe they should,” The barb not making him feel any better, his stomach bubbling with renewed anger at the way Dani had glanced at Alex, Marc smiled at Jorge as the Mallorcan came out of the bathroom, muttering about the disgusting state of the towel, the tense atmosphere making him stop and raise an eyebrow at Marc, that tiny gesture making all of the air leave Dani’s lungs, the gasp loud, that making Marc clap his hands and chuckle as he watched Dani’s face contort with pain, “Yeah… You got it.”

“Don’t…” Jorge shook his head, warning, “Marc, don’t.”

“You can’t…” Dani’s voice was almost a whisper, “Please, you can’t.”

“Why not?” Marc smirked, triumphant, stepping forward toward Dani, glancing at Alex and then back to Dani, “You did…”

“That’s not the same…”

“No,” Nostrils flaring, stepping closer again, Marc’s tone was downright bitchy as he stabbed his finger against Dani’s chest, “No, I was **single** when I fucked someone else…”

“Marc…”

“And _I_ managed to resist the temptation to fuck the person you are closest too in the world,” Spitting his words, the sight of a tear escaping Dani’s adding somehow adding to his anger, Marc got right into Dani’s face, the veins in his neck throbbing, “Because **I’m** not a two-face, duplicitous prick.”

“Ok Marc,” Jorge interjected, giving up on Alex doing so, “That’s enough.”

“Please.”

“Is that what you said to my brother?” Goading Dani, his nose almost touching the older man’s, Marc’s tone was vicious and sneering, “Is it? Is that what you **begged** when you were in bed with MY brother?”

Reaching out to put his hand on Marc’s shoulder, something snapping inside him, Alex shook his head, “Stop it.”

“Get your hand off me,” Shaking Alex off his shoulder, Marc turned to his brother, not stepping back from Dani, a contemptuous look on his face, “Don’t you EVER touch me again.”

“I think we all need to calm down a bit,” Hands in his pockets, Jorge implored for calm.

Angry, able to see the level of hurt in Marc’s entire posture, Alex shot Jorge a filthy look, “This has got fuck all to do with you.”

“Don’t speak to him like that,” Barking the words at his brother, like an order, one he knew Alex couldn’t argue with because Alex was the one in the wrong, Marc shook his head, before turning back to Dani, “You make me sick. Looking at you makes me feel sick. Hearing your voice makes me feel sick.”

“Please…”

“Once again with the begging Dani…” Marc chuckled, the sound not quite ringing true, “Then again you always were a fucking needy nightmare…”

Pushing Marc’s shoulder, not hard, just enough to break Dani’s trance, Alex’s voice raised, “That’s enough.”

“Awww, look, the new boyfriend is coming to the rescue… Is that how this is now then? Eh, Dani? You get to be all jealous at me and Jorge when you are fucking Alex?” Unable to stop himself, any chance of walking away long gone, needing to make Dani feel worse than he felt, Marc crowed, “Does it make you jealous Dani? The thought of me with Jorge? Jorge doing all the things I used to let you do… Does it? Does it make you jealous Dani?”

“I’m not jealous,” Voice barely a whisper, hardly hearing Marc’s words, Dani blinked and almost died of shame as tears rolled down his face, “Please don’t…”

“You should be jealous…” Marc sneered, leaning back toward Dani, ignoring Alex’s firm hand on his shoulder, “Because he is way fucking better than you ever were… There’s no faking with him… His neighbours hate me because of the way I scream his name…”

“Stop it. Please stop it,” Breaking down, Dani wept softly, “Please stop it.”

“You’ve made your point Marc,” Alex pushed his brother again, Marc pushing back and Alex ignoring that like he was Valentino’s helmet guy, “Enough.”

“You don’t get to tell ME when it’s enough,” Pushing his brother hard, desperately trying to goad Alex into reacting, Marc spat words at him, angrier than he had ever been in his life, “Is this your job now? Defending Dani? If you defend him good will he take you home and fuck you? Will he? Will he fuck you like the cheap slut you are? Will he Alex? Will he fuck you hard enough to make you forget the way you’ve betrayed your family?”

“Guys, come on…” Fearing things would escalate Jorge got between the two brothers, cursing as he found himself promptly pushed aside by four hands, them back to pushing and shoving each other.

“Stop it Marc.”

“Does it make you feel better about being a two-face liar?”

“Stop it.”

“Do you forget?”

“Forget what?” Alex stopped, stepping out of Marc’s grasp, “Does it make me forget what?”

“Does screaming his name make you forget the way you made Mama cry?”

“You prick…” Alex winced as he landed the punch, Marc’s jaw harder than he realised, his fingers cracking, “You leave Mama out of this.”

“YOU **DON’T** GET TO TELL **ME** WHAT TO DO!” Marc lunged at his brother, fury surging through his veins as he pushed Alex hard, two hands to his chest, the force unexpected and making the younger brother wobble, stepping back to try and regain his balance, instead tripping over the leg of the table, time slowing as he fell to the floor, a loud crack echoing around the room as the back of his head caught the corner of the wood, then a thump as Alex’s entire body hit the floor in a crumpled heap, “Get up… Get up…”

“Alex?” Jorge moved, pushing his way past Dani and Marc, the first to see through the haze of emotions to realise something was badly wrong as he crouched down, “Alex, can you hear me?”

“Get up…” Pushing Jorge aside, Marc grabbed Alex’s jumper, shaking him, “Get up! Open your eyes! Get up! Getupgetupgetup!”

“Get off him,” Dani pulled at Marc, panic coursing through his veins, vomit churning in his stomach, “Leave him alone.”

Pushing Dani off, Marc glared, pure hatred on his face, “This is your fault Pedrosa.”

“ARTUR!! HECTOR!!!” Jorge screamed, his hand held up in front of his face, his eyes locked on the red liquid that he hadn’t expected to feel when he touched Alex’s head, “WE NEED AN AMBULANCE!”

“Alex?” Marc dropped to his knees next to his brother, his eyes going between Alex’s face and Jorge’s hand, “Alex? Open your eyes… Please? Please open your eyes.”

“Lex?” Kneeling next to Marc, both of them with their voices quiet, Dani reached for Alex’s chest, resting his hand and shaking him slightly, like he was trying to wake him from a nap, “It’s time to wake up now… Alex…”

“Open your eyes Alex, _please_ …”

“Lex, Lex you need to open your eyes now…”

“Alex, please Alex, Alex?”

“Lex, come on now, please…”

“Gentlemen you need to get out of the way…”

“Alex…” Hauled aside by Jorge and Hector as the paramedics got to work, Marc’s world collapsed once again; covering his face with his hands Marc’s breathing got shallow and quick, his eyes wide like saucers as he watched them work on his brother, “What did I do?”

“What have I done?” Moved by Jose Luis, the trainer physically lifting him out of the way, Dani wrapped his arms around his waist, rocking himself back and forth as he watched the medics pressing a bright white dressing to Alex’s head, “What have I done?”

 


	9. Chapter 9

Dani's Perspective

“He knows?” Dani was the first to break the stifling silence, a line forming on his forehead as his brain whirred, trying to piece things together, looking at Marc slightly confused, baffled why his former love would confide in Jorge, “You told Jorge?”

Marc shrugged, not looking at Dani, and not replying, just praying Hector or Jose Luis would come back in the door and let him escape this.

“Why?” Dani spoke again, something confusing him, nothing in Marc’s stance making sense, “Why would you tell him?”

Angry, obviously seriously angry, Marc looked up, dark eyes burning into the older man, the ferocity making Dani swallow, “He heard you creating a shit-storm at my door in Sepang.”

“That’s not possible,” Dani shook his head, his brow furrowed with confusion, panicking that he’d made a mistake, that his meticulous checking of who was on Marc’s floor had gone wrong, “Ducati didn’t have any rooms on that floor… Santi and Jordi were either side of you… Carlos opposite and then Hector and Livio…”

Marc shrugged, challenging Dani silently.

“So, how?” Dani looked at Alex, the younger leant against the wall, his eyes on the floor, utterly defeated in the presence of his brother, “How did he hear? Was he with Livio? Does he want to move teams? Are Honda getting rid of me?”

“Maybe they should,” Ignoring the barb, Dani frowned as he saw Marc smile at Jorge as the Mallorcan came out of the bathroom, muttering about the disgusting state of the towel, the tense atmosphere making him stop and raise an eyebrow at Marc, that tiny gesture, the familiarity of it, making all of the air leave Dani’s lungs, the gasp loud, “Yeah… You got it.”

“Don’t…” Jorge shook his head, warning, “Marc, don’t.”

“You can’t…” Dani’s voice dropped to a whisper, everything collapsing around him, his lungs burning from lack of oxygen, knowing that Marc didn’t do casual sex, and that Jorge didn’t do relationships, “Please, you can’t.”

“Why not?” Marc smirked, triumphant, stepping forward toward Dani, glancing at Alex and then back to Dani, “You did…”

“That’s not the same…” Dani almost cried, the idea of Marc with Jorge, the visions, making him want to weep, knowing that he did that, he caused that.

“No,” Nostrils flaring, stepping closer again, Marc’s tone was downright bitchy, “No, I was **single** when I fucked someone else…”

“Marc…” Dani shook his head, ready to walk away before Marc hit him with more words, thoughts of walking gone as his lead-legs made him freeze, accepting Marc's barrage.

“And I managed to resist the temptation to fuck the person you are closest too in the world,” Spitting his words, the sight of a tear escaping Dani’s adding somehow adding to his anger, Marc got right into Dani’s face, “Because I’m not a two-face, duplicitous prick.”

“Ok Marc,” Jorge interjected, giving up on Alex doing so, “That’s enough.”

Frozen to the spot, wishing the ground would open up to swallow him, Dani closed his eyes, “Please.”

“Is that what you said to my brother?” Dani kept his eyes shut, able to feel Marc’s breath on his face as he stepped so close their noses almost touch, Marc’s tone goading him, Marc’s tone was vicious, every word like a kick to Dani’s stomach, “Is it? Is that what you **begged** when you were in bed with MY brother?”

Reaching out to put his hand on Marc’s shoulder, something snapping inside him, Alex shook his head, “Stop it.”

“Get your hand off me,” Shaking Alex off his shoulder, Marc turned to his brother, not stepping back from Dani, the look on his face like a kick to the stomach for Alex, “Don’t you EVER touch me again.”

“I think we all need to calm down a bit,” Hands in his pockets, Jorge implored for calm.

Angry, able to see the level of hurt in Marc’s entire posture, Alex shot Jorge a filthy look, “This has got fuck all to do with you.”

“Don’t speak to him like that,” Barking the words at his brother, like an order, Marc shook his head, before turning back to Dani, “You make me sick. Looking at you makes me feel sick. Hearing your voice makes me feel sick.”

“Please…”

“Once again with the begging Dani…” Marc chuckled, but Dani could hear the pain in the tone, the pain that he had caused, “Then again you always were a fucking needy nightmare…”

Pushing Marc’s shoulder, not hard, just enough to break Dani’s trance, Alex’s voice raised, “That’s enough.”

“Awww, look, the new boyfriend is coming to the rescue… Is that how this is now then? Eh, Dani? You get to be all jealous at me and Jorge when you are fucking Alex?”

“I’m not jealous,” Voice barely a whisper, Dani blinked and almost died of shame as tears rolled down his face, genuinely not jealous, too ashamed at what he’d done to have any sense of jealousy over Marc moving on, simply shamed at knowing he’d pushed the younger into a casual relationship that he’d hate himself for, “Please don’t…”

“You should be jealous…” Marc crowed, leaning back toward Dani, ignoring Alex’s firm hand on his shoulder, “Because he is way fucking better than you ever were… There’s no faking with him… His neighbours hate me because of the way I scream his name…”

“Stop it. Please stop it,” Breaking down, Dani wept softly, heartbroken at the harsh words and hateful looks going between the two, “Please stop it.”

“You’ve made your point Marc,” Alex pushed his brother again, Marc pushing back and Alex ignoring that like he was Valentino’s helmet guy, “Enough.”

“You don’t get to tell ME when it’s enough,” Pushing his brother hard, desperately trying to goad Alex into reacting, Marc spat words at him, “Is this your job now? Defending Dani? If you defend him good will he take you home and fuck you? Will he? Will he fuck you like the cheap slut you are? Will he Alex? Will he fuck you hard enough to make you forget the way you’ve betrayed your family?”

“Guys, come on…” Fearing things would escalate Jorge got between the two brothers, cursing as he found himself promptly pushed aside by four hands, them back to pushing and shoving each other.

“Stop it Marc.”

“Does it make you feel better about being a two-face liar?”

“Stop it.”

“Do you forget?”

“Forget what?” Alex stopped, stepping out of Marc’s grasp, “Does it make me forget what?”

“Does screaming his name make you forget the way you made Mama cry?”

“You prick…” Alex winced as he landed the punch, Marc’s jaw harder than he realised, his fingers cracking, “You leave Mama out of this.”

“YOU **DON’T** GET TO TELL **ME** WHAT TO DO!” Marc lunged at his brother, fury surging through his veins as he pushed Alex hard, two hands to his chest, the force unexpected and making the younger brother wobble, stepping back to try and regain his balance, instead tripping over the leg of the table, time slowing as he fell to the floor, a loud crack echoing around the room as the back of his head caught the corner of the wood, then a thump as Alex’s entire body hit the floor in a crumpled heap, “Get up… Get up…”

“Alex?” Jorge moved, pushing his way past Dani and Marc, the first to see through the haze of emotions to realise something was badly wrong as he crouched down, “Alex, can you hear me?”

“Get up…” Pushing Jorge aside, Marc grabbed Alex’s jumper, shaking him, “Get up! Open your eyes! Get up! Getupgetupgetup!”

“Get off him,” Dani pulled at Marc, panic coursing through his veins, vomit churning in his stomach, Alex motionless on the ground, “Leave him alone.”

Pushing Dani off, Marc glared, pure hatred on his face, “This is your fault Pedrosa.”

“ARTUR!! HECTOR!!!” Jorge screamed, his hand held up in front of his face, his eyes locked on the red liquid that he hadn’t expected to feel when he touched Alex’s head, “WE NEED AN AMBULANCE!”

“Alex?” Marc dropped to his knees next to his brother, his eyes going between Alex’s face and Jorge’s hand, “Alex? Open your eyes… Please? Please open your eyes.”

“Lex?” Kneeling next to Marc, both of them with their voices quiet, Dani reached for Alex’s chest, resting his hand and shaking him slightly, like he was trying to wake him from a nap, panic churned through Dani seeing Alex prone on the ground, his normally telling face giving nothing away, “It’s time to wake up now… Alex…”

“Open your eyes Alex, _please_ …”

“Lex, Lex you need to open your eyes now…”

“Alex, please Alex, Alex?”

“Lex, come on now, please…”

“Gentlemen you need to get out of the way…”

“Alex…” Hauled aside by Jorge and Hector as the paramedics got to work, Marc’s world collapsed once again, “What did I do?”

“What have I done?” Moved by Jose Luis, the trainer physically lifting him out of the way, Dani wrapped his arms around his waist, rocking himself back and forth as he watched the medics pressing a bright white dressing to Alex’s head; Alex floppy and limp as they moved him onto a stretcher, looking like he was fast asleep, like he had on mornings when Dani had woke up next to him, morning that had caused this, that he had caused, “What have I done?”

 


	10. Chapter 10

Alex's Perspective

“He knows?” Dani was the first to break the stifling silence, a line in his forehead as he thought, trying to piece things together, looking at Marc slightly confused, “You told Jorge?”

Marc shrugged, not looking at Dani, and not replying.

“Why?” Dani spoke again, “Why would you tell him?”

Wincing at his brother’s anger, Alex kept his eyes down, catching movement out of the corner of his eye as Marc looked up at Dani, “He heard you creating a shit-storm at my door in Sepang.”

“That’s not possible,” Dani shook his head, his brow furrowed with confusion, “Ducati didn’t have any rooms on that floor… Santi and Jordi were either side of you… Carlos opposite and then Hector and Livio…”

Marc shrugged, challenging Dani silently. Alex closed his eyes as he realised what Marc was trying to goad Dani into realising. His heart sinking when he realised that Jorge must have been **in** Marc’s room to have heard Dani.

“So, how?” Dani looked at Alex, the younger not catching his eye, knowing that gesture would enrage Marc, “How did he hear? Was he with Livio? Does he want to move teams? Are Honda getting rid of me?”

“Maybe they should,” The barb made Alex wince, catching the look as Marc smiled at Jorge as the Mallorcan came out of the bathroom, muttering about the disgusting state of the towel, the tense atmosphere making him stop and raise an eyebrow at Marc, that tiny gesture making Dani gasp loud, “Yeah… You got it.”

“Don’t…” Jorge shook his head, warning, “Marc, don’t.”

“You can’t…” Dani’s voice was almost a whisper, knowing, as they all did, that Marc didn’t do casual sex, and that Jorge didn’t do relationships, “Please, you can’t.”

“Why not?” Marc smirked, triumphant, stepping forward toward Dani, glancing at Alex and then back to Dani, “You did…”

“That’s not the same…”

“No,” Nostrils flaring, stepping closer again, Marc’s tone was downright bitchy, “No, I was **single** when I fucked someone else…”

Sinking into the wall, Alex tried to close out the sound of the two men he loved the most in the world. The hatred in Marc’s voice combining with the utter devastation in Dani’s making Alex want to weep, leaving him feeling like the worst person in the world.

“Marc…”

“And I managed to resist the temptation to fuck the person you are closest too in the world,” Spitting his words, the sight of a tear escaping Dani’s adding somehow adding to his anger, Marc got right into Dani’s face, “Because I’m not a two-face, duplicitous prick.”

“Ok Marc,” Jorge interjected, giving up on Alex doing so, “That’s enough.”

“Please.”

“Is that what you said to my brother?” Goading Dani, his nose almost touching the older man’s, Marc’s tone was vicious, “Is it? Is that what you **begged** when you were in bed with MY brother?”

That crossing a line for him, knowing that the situation wasn’t all Dani’s fault, feeling the need to take at least half of the blame, Alex reached out for his brother’s shoulder, his tone imploring Marc to step back a bit, “Stop it.”

“Get your hand off me,” Biting his lip, the look his elder brother had given him feeling like a kick to the stomach, the anger and hate in Marc’s eyes, Alex let his hand slip from Marc’s shoulder, “Don’t you EVER touch me again.”

“I think we all need to calm down a bit,” Hands in his pockets, Jorge implored for calm.

Angry, able to see the level of hurt in Marc’s entire posture, Alex shot Jorge a filthy look, the thought of the Mallorcan taking advantage of Marc’s heartbreak making him furious, “This has got fuck all to do with you.”

“Don’t speak to him like that,” Barking the words at his brother, like an order, Marc shook his head, before turning back to Dani, “You make me sick. Looking at you makes me feel sick. Hearing your voice makes me feel sick.”

“Please…”

“Once again with the begging Dani…” Marc chuckled, the sound not quite ringing true, “Then again you always were a fucking needy nightmare…”

Knowing that was one of Dani’s fears, Alex raised his voice, not angry, just authoritative, feeding the need to defend Dani against Marc’s tirade, Alex pushed Marc’s shoulder, “That’s enough.”

“Awww, look, the new boyfriend is coming to the rescue… Is that how this is now then? Eh, Dani? You get to be all jealous at me and Jorge when you are fucking Alex?”

“I’m not jealous,” Voice barely a whisper, Dani blinked and almost died of shame as tears rolled down his face, “Please don’t…”

“You should be jealous…” Marc crowed, leaning back toward Dani, ignoring Alex’s firm hand on his shoulder, “Because he is way fucking better than you ever were… There’s no faking with him… His neighbours hate me because of the way I scream his name…”

“Stop it. Please stop it,” Breaking down, Dani wept softly, “Please stop it.”

“You’ve made your point Marc,” Wanting to wrap his arms around Dani, hating himself for that, and hating that he couldn’t, Alex pushed his brother again, Alex ignoring the instant shove back, knowing he couldn’t allow himself to get into a fight with his brother, “Enough.”

“You don’t get to tell ME when it’s enough,” Pushing his brother hard, desperately trying to goad Alex into reacting, Marc spat words at him, Alex just taking it, letting Marc’s hands push at his shoulders and chest, “Is this your job now? Defending Dani? If you defend him good will he take you home and fuck you? Will he? Will he fuck you like the cheap slut you are? Will he Alex? Will he fuck you hard enough to make you forget the way you’ve betrayed your family?”

“Guys, come on…” Fearing things would escalate Jorge got between the two brothers, cursing as he found himself promptly pushed aside by four hands, them back to pushing and shoving each other.

“Stop it Marc.”

“Does it make you feel better about being a two-face liar?”

“Stop it.”

“Do you forget?”

“Forget what?” Confused, Alex stepped back, out of Marc’s reach, not realising that his brother was about to hit a new point, that his desperation to feel something meant he needed to push Alex harder and harder until he saw pain equal to his own, “Does it make me forget what?”

“Does screaming his name make you forget the way you made Mama cry?”

“You prick…” Red mist descending, Alex had landed the punch before he realised what he was doing, “You leave Mama out of this.”

“YOU **DON’T** GET TO TELL **ME** WHAT TO DO!” Stumbling backwards, his brain whirring as he realised what he’d done, Alex tried to regain his footing, the thought of his mother and his tears, and he knew there had been many, Alex realised he’d underestimated both Marc’s strength and the space in the room as he tripped over the table leg, time speeding up as he tried to scramble steady, instead feeling a sharp pain in his head as everything went dark, his hearing going fuzzy as he crumpled to the floor “Get up… Get up…”

“Alex?” Jorge moved, pushing his way past Dani and Marc, the first to see through the haze of emotions to realise something was badly wrong as he crouched down, “Alex, can you hear me?”

Trying to open his eyes, Alex felt warm and cosy, something lulling him to sleep, leaving the panic and sadness behind as he drifted away.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

“What happened?”

“Dani was just there and just…” Marc grimaced, clenching his teeth, “He was snivelling and he wouldn’t say anything…”

*

“What happened?”

“Marc… He was so angry…” Dani wiped a tear from his eyes, tears of anger, livid that Marc had landed Alex in hospital, “He just wouldn’t shut up.”

*

“What was the snapping point?”

“Dani looked at Alex to answer his questions, to deal with everything… He wouldn’t even say a word. It was pathetic…” Marc shook his head, his contempt for Dani clear, “So pathetic.”

*

“What was the snapping point?”

“Marc crossed a line. He made a comment, something he knew about me, that scares me, from the past,” Dani shook his head, fiddling with the amulet on his chain, “He went too far.”

*

“Who started the violence?”

“Alex,” Marc sighed, his lips pursed, “He just lashed out.”

*

“Who started the violence?”

“Marc said something disgusting to Alex.”

*

“What happened?” Desperate to get to the bottom of everything, Livio and Carmelo looked at Jorge for answers, the police only agreeing to stay out of it whilst Alex was well, it instantly going to be out of their hands, and control, if he didn’t regain consciousness quickly, “What the fuck happened?”

“It was a powder keg that’s been waiting to explode for months…” Jorge bit his nails, praying that Alex would be alright, knowing neither Marc nor Dani would cope if he wasn’t, “They were in a small room, it was tense and it went boom…”

“What was the snapping point?”

“I dunno…” Jorge shrugged, genuinely unsure at which point it went off, “I think Marc was getting annoyed because Dani wouldn’t react so he was goading and then instead of ignoring it like Dani was Alex got riled…”

“Who started the violence?”

“Well…” Jorge tilted his head, a furrowed line appearing on his forehead, “Alex punched Marc, then Marc pushed Alex… They were pushing and shoving before that. I honestly don’t know who pushed first.”

*

“Is there any… What the fuck is _he_ doing here?” Marc glared at Dani, the older man sat on a chair in the corridor, not next to Roser and Julia, but close enough for the fury to flare in Marc again, “What is….”

“Shut up…” Getting up from her chair, tears on her face, Roser’s mouth twisted as she spoke, her tone tense and stressed, “Your brother is hurt, Marc, he is hurt.”

“I know, that’s why I’m here…”

“And it’s why Dani is here,” Making her dislike of both of them clear, Roser shook her head, “If you two can’t behave then you leave. If you can’t be quiet then you leave. If you can’t take the fact that your brother is having scans on his head because you were **fighting** with him and use that to end this bloody feud between you then you can leave… Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes,” Marc nodded, seeing clearly for the first time the changes in his mother; the dark rings under her eyes that were more than one days stress, the loose skin from where the worry had saw weight fall from her despite her not needing to lose any, and mostly, pain in his belly as he noticed it, mostly he saw the sadness in her eyes, “Yes Mama.”

Nodding, tears stinging his eyes again, surprised that he had any tears left, Dani felt wretched, “Yes, Roser. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry Daniel,” Roser almost begged as she looked at the older man, “Just find a way to fix it. Before it kills one of you, please… I feel like I've lost part of both of my boys, please, both of you, please, please find a way to at least learn to ignore each other. I've lost a part of both of my boys, I don't want to bury one of them.”

That thought sobering both, the fear that it may be too late for that making them both feel sick, Marc and Dani sat on hard plastic chairs, far from each other, not a word or a look shared, as they waited long into the night for news.

*

“It’s good that they’ve not come out, right?” Forgetting for a second that he hated Dani, Marc bit his lip, his parents having been called in by the doctors more than fifteen minutes previously, “I mean, if it was… If he was… They’d have come back out, right? They’d have come to tell us?”

“I think so… I mean, well,” Dani faltered, his conviction failing him as he wondered if Roser and Julia would have been able to come back if they’d killed Alex, would they be able to walk and talk enough to pass on the news, “Someone would have come, right?”

“Yeah,” Marc nodded, still not sure, hating the way his voice sounded spooky echoing down the long, silent corridor, “Yeah they would.”

“Yeah,” Agreeing, biting his nails, Dani took a shuddery breath, trying to rid himself of the horrid image of Alex on the floor, “For sure.”

“I keep thinking about the last time I spoke to him…”

“Me too.”

“I told him he was disgusting,” Wiping a tear with his sleeve, remembering the vicious parting shot as he left the motorhome, Marc’s voice wobbled, “I told him that you were the person I loved most in the world to make him feel even more guilty than he already did… Then I left, and I never spoke to him again until today. I mean in the press conference in Qatar I had too, but…”

“You were angry,” Dani shook his head, biting his bottom lip, shrugging his shoulders, “Lashing out was understandable.”

“What about you?” Marc turned to Dani, looking at him without hate for the first time in months, seeing his own pain mirrored on the face, “When did you speak to him last?”

“On the balcony,” Biting back a sob, Dani cursed his own reluctance to speak to anyone, “He asked me if I loved him, if he meant anything to me… And I said that I didn’t know.”

“You haven’t spoken since then?” Marc couldn’t hide his shock, all winter he’d let himself believe that Alex and Dani were together, even though people had said they weren’t, he had convinced himself, “Not even a conversation?”

“No,” Folding his arms across his chest, rocking slightly in his seat, Dani shook his head, “I’m a coward. I convinced myself that I should leave you two to sort it and that you could do that better without me.”

“With me you were right, but Alex… Alex is a talker…”

“I know.”

“Sorry,” Genuinely sorry for the low sob that caused, Marc chewed on his lip, “I knew that too… That he was a talker. I didn’t even text him at Christmas or New Year… He couldn’t even spend them at home because of me.”

“I think that was because of me… This whole thing is my fault… I never meant for anything to happen between us, it just happened and then…” Dani wiped tears from his face, wishing someone would come out of the office and tell them something, anything, “What if we’ve killed him? What if…”

“Don’t say that,” Sharper than he intended, Marc shook his head, “Don’t say that. He’ll be ok. He’ll be ok because he has to be. He can’t go like this. Not here.”

“Sorry.”

“I hate you, I love you, but I hate you…” Eyes filled with tears, Marc bit his lip, “Was it always him or?”

“No,” Dani closed his eyes, shaking his head sadly, “It was… It was intense when you were hurt. You were hurt, then you were ok, then you were really, really sick… It was like a rollercoaster. We just kind of… I dunno, we clung to each other I suppose. It wasn’t pre-meditated or anything…”

“Did you feel guilty?” Searching Dani’s face for answers, Marc fidgeted with his watch, “Before I caught you I mean, did you feel guilty or…”

“Constantly. Why do you think I crashed so much last season?” Dani shrugged at the shock on Marc’s face, “I was on sleeping pills and anti-depressants… I… I didn’t want to hurt you, I never, _ever_ , wanted to hurt you… It was so bad, and I felt so bad, and then…”

“Tell me,” Marc implored Dani to keep going, the words hard for them both, but needing said, “We can’t ever get anywhere if we don’t talk. I don’t know if we can get anywhere even if we do, but… But, I don’t ever want to see that look of fear on my Mama’s face again…”

“Me neither,” Dani shifted in his seat, uncomfortable discussing things in such a public place, even though no-one was around, “I felt awful. So, did Alex. We castigated ourselves and we promised it would never happen again. Then…”

“Then I needed the second op?”

Dani nodded, closing his eyes as he remembered the repeated highs of exhilaration and lows of desperation, “I felt like the worst person in the world already, and then I realised that he was in love with me… It made it so much worse… When I crashed and broke my collarbone, I wished I’d hit the wall rather than the air fence… Don’t look at me like that… Please.”

“I…” Marc was stunned, his brain almost imploding at the realisation that Dani had actually thought, even momentarily, about wishing his life over, “Wow. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say… I don’t know how to fix this. I just want you two to be fixed – he needs you…”

“I need him.”

“Exactly…” Dani shrugged his shoulders, rubbing his palms against his jeans, feeling utterly hopeless, “Maybe you were right, I shouldn’t have come here…”

“Don’t go…” Marc shook his head, hardly able to believe that he was saying those words, “Alex… He loves you, and he loves me, and I love him, and I think you care about him at least so… So, you need to be here until we know that he’s ok. I’m not saying it’s ok, but we owe him something…”

“I really hope they tell us something soon,” Dani crumpled back into his chair, tears streaming down his face, “I feel so guilty.”

“How do I live with it?” Marc looked about twelve as he turned to Dani, “How do I live with it if I’ve killed him?”

“I don’t know how either of us do…”


	12. Chapter 12

“Your parents are with your brother,” Appearing from nowhere, looking slightly confused at the message he’d been sent to deliver, the doctor, patient file in his hand, smiled kindly, “He’s going to be fine, but he needs to rest. Your mother said you’ve to go home. You can see him tomorrow.”

“Right,” Marc nodded, torn between sheer delight that Alex was ok and stinging pain that his Mama was so angry she couldn’t even deliver the news herself, “He’s ok? He’s really ok?”

“He has a concussion, but he’s awake, talking and he has no amnesia or anything. He’ll be fine with some rest,” Smiling and nodding the doctor walked away, leaving Marc and Dani in their plastic seats, smiles on their faces.

“Thank god,” Head in his hands, Dani let out a soft sob, emotion overwhelming him, “I’d never have forgiven myself if…”

“It was me that pushed him…” Marc bit his bottom lip, his eyes starting to sting, “If I…”

“You need to fix things with him,” Dani looked at Marc, his dark eyes glistening under the stark florescent hospital lighting, pain visible on his face, “He needs you. When you were hurt he was… He was lost… You two are a pair, please, whatever it takes, just please… I can’t take seeing him have another season like last year.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t realise…” Marc nodded, pieces all fitting together, “I got so frustrated with him last year. He just kept telling me I didn’t understand…”

“I’m sorry…” Sniffing, trying his best not to cry in a dingy corridor, Dani picked imaginary pieces of lint off his jeans, “I can’t believe I’ve done this to you.”

“I can’t either,” Shrugging at the hurt on Dani’s face, a line emerged on Marc’s forehead such was his depth of thought, “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything…”

“Did… When you were with Alex, were you thinking about me?” Marc chewed on his lip, unsure what he wanted Dani’s answer to be, “Was he like a substitute for me?”

“No,” Dani shook his head, his voice low and quiet, “Sorry.”

“Ok,” Marc frowned, processing that in his mind, somehow always having believed that Dani was using Alex, the similarities between them so strong that he could, “Do you think it was just that you needed someone? Or was it Alex?”

“It was Alex,” Apologetic and hanging his head in shame, Dani closed his eyes, desperate to avoid seeing anymore hurt in Marc’s face, but feeling like he owed the younger man honest answers, “It happened because of the situation, because we were thrown together like that, but it wouldn’t have happened with anyone else.”

“Do you love him?”

*

“Marc?” Still slightly groggy, Alex opened his eyes, confused for a moment in the dim early morning light, before realising that it really was his brother, that making him want to weep, “Marc?”

“I’m sorry…” Wrapping Alex in a hug, carefully avoiding the bandage on the younger man’s head, Marc bit his lip at the sound of the soft sobbing that began to fall from his beloved brother, “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex clung to Marc, wetting his shirt with salty tears, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Closing his eyes, holding Alex as firmly as he dared, Marc felt his heart break at the sound of Alex finally letting out all of the emotion he’d hidden behind his shame, “I’m here. We’ll fix it.”

“You think?” Looking up, eyes wide and glassy, tears and snot on his face, Alex looked about twelve, “I’ve missed you so much. I’m so sorry Marc, I…”

“Let’s not talk about it now,” Marc smiled weakly, shaking his head as the brightness of Alex’s bandage, “I’m so sorry about your head.”

“I’m sorry I punched you…”

“Nah,” Marc shook his head, “I deserved that. I shouldn’t have said what I said about Mama.”

“It’s true though,” Biting his lip, Alex shrugged his shoulders, “She has cried over it and it was all my fault.”

“I think you and Dani have fifty percent of the blame each…” Honest, but without nastiness, Marc watched his brother’s face for a reaction, “He came here, last night.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Marc felt pain in his stomach, still knowing Alex better than anyone and still knowing the meaning of that little reaction in Alex’s eyes, “Mama wouldn’t let either of us in. She left us sitting in the corridor after she gave us some pretty harsh home truths…”

“She left you together?” Alex swallowed uncomfortably, “Did you sort things out?”

“A bit. We talked. We thought you were dead… It put some things in perspective…”

“I’ll stay out of the way,” His heart breaking, the idea of life without Marc and Dani horrific, only soothed slightly by the thought of his brother being happy, Alex smiled weakly, “I’ll keep visiting Mama on Tuesdays and…”

“Stop…” Marc shook his head, “We’re not back together.”

“Sorry.”

“Are you?”

“Yes,” Honest, painfully so, Alex fiddled with the hospital bracelet on his wrist, “I want you to be happy Marc, more than anything. Well, more than anything I wish I could have my brother back, but I know I can’t so… Yeah, I want you to be happy. I’m going to retire from racing.”

“WHAT?!”

“I’m not very good, Moto2 isn’t for me,” Alex shrugged, his world collapsing a little, but the decision made in his mind, “I think I’d make a better coach… When we thought the arms would finish me I got that offer, and I know that the guy they picked in the end is going at the end of the season so…”

“No, no way,” Marc interrupted, shaking his head, his eyes wide with shock, “You can’t give up!”

“I can,” Alex shrugged, “I’m not you. I’m never going to be…”

“You don’t have to be me!”

“Marc, I…”

“No, no way,” Interrupting again, Marc pulled his phone from his pocket, “Wait there…”

“I’m in a hospital bed, I’m not allowed to go anywhere,” Chuckling slightly, Alex laughed harder when Marc cackled, both of them ending up in tears of laughter, not helped when a nurse opened the door to shush them, reminding them that it was only 7am, “I miss you.”

“I miss you,” Phone still in hand, Marc looked at his brother, seeing for the first time the changes in him – the sadness in his eyes, the definition in his shoulders and chest, the results of months of extra training and heartbreak, “You crashed so much last year because you were thinking about Dani and me and the situation… Same reason he crashed so much. This year…”

“This year might be worse…”

“This year we’ll sort it so it won’t be…” Marc looked at Alex, fixing his gaze right on him, “Are you leaving because of me or because of Dani?”

“Both.”

“If you get me back will you stay?”

“Maybe, I?”

“If you get Dani back will you stay?”

“I can’t have Dani back, he was never mine to start with…”

“But if you did?”

“I can’t answer that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I need you back…” Tears rolling down his face, Alex sniffed, “I want Dani, but I need you. You’re my brother and I miss you so much… I miss our family, I miss being part of our family…”

“Do you love him?”

“Do you?”

*

“Alright alright!” Jorge threw open the door, wrapped only in a towel, “Where’s the fire?... Marc? Is Alex ok?”

“Yeah,” Stepping inside, Marc turned to Jorge, chewing on his bottom lip, no idea if he’d come to the right place, but nowhere else to go, “They love each other…”

“Who? Ah… Dani too?” Jorge felt for Marc, conflict written all over the younger man’s face as he nodded, “And what about you? Do you love him?”

 


	13. Chapter 13

“Here you go…” Handing Marc the coffee, noticing the tremble in Marc’s hands, Jorge sat opposite him, genuinely feeling sorry for the younger man, “So, Alex is going to be ok?”

“Yeah,” Marc nodded, relaxing into the warmth of the coffee, “He’s got concussion, but he’s ok. Thank god… If…”

“Don’t do if,” Jorge shook his head, his voice soft, but firm, “You’ll just torment yourself.”

“I asked him if he loved Dani…” Marc smiled sadly, shrugging his shoulders lightly, “I don’t know why because I already knew… He said he doesn’t love Dani as much as he loves me.”

“That’s honest at least…”

“It is,” Marc blew on the hot liquid in the cup, the warm steam heating his face, “I asked Dani if he loved Alex… He said he didn’t know. He thinks he could. He has feelings for him…”

“How do you feel about that?”

“I don’t know,” Marc looked up at Jorge, tears making his eyes shimmer, “Dani does love him though. He just doesn’t realise.”

Jorge frowned, “How can you be sure?”

“When I found out about them Dani said that when I had my crash he felt sick…”

“Right?”

“Last night,” Marc shrugged, defeated, “He **was** sick…”

“I think it’s a difference circumstance,” Jorge took a sip of his coffee, knowing he shouldn’t ask, but feeling he had too, “How do you feel about Dani?”

“I love him a bit… I think I always will. They say you always keep a place in your heart for your first love, don’t they?” Marc shrugged again, answering his own question, “There’s a ‘but’ though…”

“What’s that?”

“I don’t know,” Marc laughed softly, confused by his own head, “It’s like ‘I love Dani, but…’ but I don’t know what the but is…”

“How do you feel about Dani and Alex?”

“Angry. They could have waited until after.”

“After?”

“Yeah,” Marc chewed on his bottom lip, emitting an air of sadness, “Maybe that’s the but… I always thought me and Dani would end one day.”

“Why?” Jorge frowned in confusion, always having believed the relationship between the two Repsol riders was strong, “What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know.”

“What happens now then?”

“Visiting time,” Marc looked at his watch, proud of himself for sending the text, but regretting it in equal measures, tilting his head at Jorge’s puzzled look, “I told Dani to visit Alex. He needs to talk some sense into him.”

*

“Hey… Can I come in?”

Sitting up slightly straighter in his bed, taken aback by his visitor, Alex nodded, “Sure.”

“How are you? How’s the head?” Dani closed the door before crossing the room, taking the chair to Alex’s left, the atmosphere slightly strained.

Alex smiled, nodding gently, “I’m ok. Head is getting better. Less fuzzy.”

“Good,” Dani smiled, relief flooding through him, knowing Alex was ok had been one thing, but seeing it feeling infinitely better, “I’m so sorry Alex…”

“Don’t,” Alex closed his eyes, not strong enough to hear words, “Just do what you have to do to make Marc happy…”

“I can’t do that,” Dani’s voice was choked, “What’s this bullshit about you retiring?”

“It’s not bullshit. I can’t stay. I can’t stay and watch…” Alex flinched when Dani’s fingers brushed his, “Dani, please don’t.”

“You can’t quit. You can’t throw everything away because of me…” Brushing the back of Alex’s hand with his thumb, Dani closed his eyes, both of them speaking in whispers, “If someone has to quit then it’ll be me, but your brother seems to think we can get through this without anyone quitting.”

“You can’t quit,” Almost panicking at the thought, that feeling beyond disloyal to his brother, Alex let out a soft sob, “You can’t leave, Dani, you can’t. You’ve fought so hard – that operation… You can’t quit…”

“ **You** can’t… You have races to win and titles to fight for…”

“I don’t know what to do,” Letting Dani lace their fingers together, his eyes still shut, Alex felt the tears roll down his face, “No matter what I do I lose something or someone that means everything. I don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll work it out,” Sounding more confident than he actually felt, Dani firmed his voice slightly, “But you are not quitting Alex Marquez, do you hear me? You are **not** quitting.”

*

“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” Jorge pulled away from the kiss, Marc having clambered onto his lap seemingly intent on devouring him, “Marc, I…”

“This is the only thing that helps,” Forehead on Jorge’s, eyes closed, Marc shivered at the feel of Jorge’s fingers on his spine under his t-shirt, “It makes me feel good… It makes me feel like me…”

“I’m not Dani…”

“I don’t want you to be Dani…” Marc tilted his head to the side, licking his lips as Jorge’s fingers traced light patterns on his skin, “Dani never took me apart like you do…”

“Marc…”

“Please…” Rocking against Jorge, his jeans hiding little, Marc dropped his head onto Jorge’s shoulder, “ _Please_ …”

*

“This plan doesn’t seem very fair on you…”

Shrugging his shoulders lightly, Dani zipped up his jacket, his voice close to cracking, “I keep my career, you keep yours and you get your brother back… That seems more than I thought would ever be possible before…”

“You won’t win the title on a Suzuki,” Alex’s bottom lip wobbled, still not sure what way to turn, “I’m so sorry Dani.”

Shaking his head, Dani’s heart broke, knowing he couldn’t speak to Alex again, desperate to wrap him in a hug and see the sadness go, “It’s my fault so you don’t have to be sorry… Just… Be successful and get your family back babe.”

“I will…” Breaking down as Dani walked out of the door, Alex clutched his hands to his chest, knowing he was being ungrateful, getting Marc back the most important, but that little pet name tearing his heart in two.

*

“It’s from Alex,” Marc smiled, sitting on Jorge’s sofa in just his boxers, phone in hand, “He’s getting out of hospital tomorrow… He asked if I would drive him back to Cervera as he’s not allowed to fly.”

Wrapped in just a towel, his skin still damp from the shower, Jorge sat next to him, “That’s a long drive…”

“We’ve got a lot to talk about…” Marc bit his bottom lip, the relief obvious in his posture, “Dani is signing for Suzuki for next year.”

“Wow…” Jorge watched Marc’s face, still trying to gauge where the younger man was at, “So, I’m guessing this is it for us…”

“Does it have to be?” Marc looked at Jorge, his wide eyes full of apprehension, “I’m not saying it has to be anything like… Well… I’m not asking you to be Dani, but do we have to end it?”

“Marc,” Jorge shook his head, the conversation and situation straying into uncomfortable territory for him, relationships his biggest life fear, “I can’t be Dani…”

“I’d rather you weren’t Dani,” Marc shrugged, feeling strong enough to make a joke, “One of my rivals fucking my brother is enough thanks…”

“Funny…” Jorge chuckled, shaking his head, “He’s not really my type.”

“What is?”

“Non-committed, only after fun…” Jorge bit his tongue, his brain screaming one thing and his body another, “I don’t want to make a bad situation worse.”

“Then stop talking,” Marc clambered onto Jorge’s lap, the older man letting out an ‘oof’ as Marc settled his weight onto him, “Your mouth does much better jobs than talking…”

*

“You ok?” Leaning on the doorframe, Dani packing a few things into a bag in his motorhome bedroom, Eric frowned in concern, “Dani?”

Nodding, tears streaming down his face, knowing he’d done the right thing, but wondering why the right thing had to hurt quite so much, Dani sniffed, “Yeah. I won’t be long.”

“Take as long as you need mate,” Eric turned away, before turning back, watching his brother, “You know, Dani, if you love him and he loves you then maybe you can work it out?”

Shaking his head, wishing with every fibre of his being it could be true, Dani stuffed the last of his stuff into his bag, his brain already thinking about the change of colour for the following year, “He needs his brother more than he needs me.”

“One day you need to put yourself first Dani…”

“Not with him. He needs to come first. He’s too young to come second…”

“He’s young, but he’s a five-time world champion so…” Eric faltered, seeing Dani’s momentary pause, something clicking in his brain, “Ah… He’s a world champion, he’s still tough…”

“He needs his brother,” Dani turned to Eric, taking a deep breath, “I’ll be ok. As soon as he and Marc are ok, I’ll be ok.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… It’s just another thing I won’t win… I know how to deal with that, plenty of practise…”

“Dani…”

“Don’t,” Dani shook his head, smiling sadly at Eric, “At least I have good memories of this one.”

*

“Are you sure about this?” Roser frowned, concerned about the idea of her two boys spending nine hours trapped together in a car, “Maybe…”

“Mama,” Alex kissed her forehead, smiling politely, “We’ll shout at each other, but we’ll laugh too. We’ll be ok.”

“You are delicate, and…”

“By the time we get home things will be fixed,” Marc took Alex’s bag and chucked it on the back seat, biting his lip, nervous at the prospect, but knowing it was the best thing, “I promise it’ll be ok.”

“Ok… Just no more hospitals, please…” Watching them get into the car, Marc driving and Alex in the passenger seat, instantly bickering about the choice of music, Marc playing the elder brother card, Alex the injured brother card, before they discovered the hire car stereo was shit anyway and they had to settle for local radio, Roser waved as Marc pulled out of the car park, her belly bubbling with nerves, knowing the trip was likely to be make or break.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay.
> 
> It needs to be longer to finish properly...

“Where did you go at Christmas?” Reaching for the radio, the first two hours of the journey being spent with chit-chat about the weather, music and silence, Marc turned down the volume, his eyes glancing briefly at his brother in the passenger seat, Alex’s face showing his confusion at the randomness of the question, “I’d assumed you and Dani… But… Where did you go?”

Alex shrugged, the memory of the miserable Christmas, alone in Guille’s flat, pretending he had a plethora of invitations to go places, “I was at Guille’s.”

“But Guille was at his grandmother’s, I saw on Instagram…” Marc bit his lip, cursing his assumptions that had taken him down the wrong track, “Did you spend it alone?”

Looking out of the window, fields and trees whizzing past, Alex fidgeted in his seat, “I wasn’t very good company…”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

Alex laughed softly, the kind of laugh that hid pain, “Who was I supposed to tell? No-one, except Guille, was talking to me…”

“Mama will hate the idea that you were alone,” Marc’s voice was quiet, the sound of his mother’s tears something that would stick in his mind forever, “She’ll hate that.”

His tone full of remorse, Alex bit on his bottom lip, “It was my own fault so…”

“Why didn’t you go to Geneva?” Marc shrugged as Alex turned to look at him, surprise written all over the younger brother’s face, “Dani obviously means the world to you…”

Shaking his head, Alex blinked back a tear, “No. Dani means a lot, but not the world. Family means the world to me… If I went to Geneva then that would have been it…”

“Right…” Marc nodded, not surprised by Alex’s reasoning, but his brother’s sadness cutting through some more of his anger as he reached for the volume dial, smile creeping on to his face, “I love this song…”

*

“Can I ask you something?” Marc reached for the radio again, lowering the volume to a soft murmur, “Did you ever lie to me? Like, directly, I know indirectly you did, but…”

Turning in his seat, facing his brother, Alex moved slowly, everything still achy and sore, “What do you mean?”

“Did you ever tell me you were going one place, but you were going to meet Dani?”

Alex shook his head, gently for fear of causing pain, “No. Never.”

“Never, ever?”

“Never ever,” Alex bit his lip, the conversation making him feel worse, but knowing he owed it to Marc to explain as best he could, “It was never… There… We… It was never planned. We never sneaked out somewhere hiding from you…”

“No?” Marc raised an eyebrow, surprised by that, “Then how?”

Alex shrugged, his cheeks going red, shame making him cringe, “There was never a time we planned to go together. It just happened…”

“Was it ever…” Marc cringed, hating himself for asking, but needing to know, “Did you ever go to the house? Our house? My house…”

“No,” Alex shook his head, voice soft, “Never. I promise, if that means anything.”

“It does,” Marc nodded, glancing at Alex, brief, but important, “How’s the head? Do you want to stop for a bit?”

“No,” Alex smiled, his brother being kind to him making him want to weep, “I’m fine.”

*

“…and Dani’s motorhome.” Alex’s tone was apologetic, his nerves increasing as he saw Marc’s grip on the steering wheel tighten, his brother’s jaw clenching at his words. “Sorry.”

Eyes on the road, slightly misting, tears threatening at the discovery of another betrayal, the knowledge that Alex and Dani had fucked in Dani’s bed, the same bed that Marc and Dani had fucked in, hitting him like a freight train. “I can’t believe you’d do that. I can’t believe **he** would do that… Did he even bother to change the sheets?”

“Sorry.” Aware it was an empty platitude, Alex flinched when Marc thumped the steering wheel, pain shooting through his head when he did.

Burning with rage, Marc indicated into the services, knowing in his sensible brain that he couldn’t drive in such a fog of fury. “In the same bed? Have you **no** self-respect? I mean, really? _Really_ , Alex? The same fucking bed?”

“It wasn’t planned.”

Bringing the car to a stop, the vein on his forehead throbbing, Marc shot Alex the filthiest of looks, “Oh well, that makes it all ok then…”

“I didn’t mean that…” Alex closed his eyes, his mother’s warning that Marc wasn’t ready for such a long trip together ringing in his ears, “I’m sorry, Marc, I’m so sorry.”

Unable to help himself, unclipping his seatbelt so that he could turn to face Alex, Marc’s eyes were almost black. “Did he look at you when he fucked you? Did he? Or did he have you face down on the bed?”

“Marc?”

“Was he fucking you? Or were you the substitute because I was in too much pain to fuck him?” Distantly aware he was crossing lines, Marc practically spat the words, ignoring the way Alex was flinching and trying to sink into his seat, “Was he fucking you Alex or were you just there? An easy hole for him to fill? Just another paddock slut that fucks his way around to make himself feel better because he’s not actually good enough to be there.”

“Please…” Alex flinched when Marc got right in his face, the younger brother swallowing hard as he braced for the pain, his eyes opening in surprise when instead there was a whoosh of cool air as the car door opened, then blinding pain as it slammed hard, Alex left inside, mouth agape as Marc punched and kicked panels of the car, his fury obvious when he stopped to look at his brother, hatred and rage in his eyes as he threw the keys onto the ground and stormed away, Alex simply watching with a tear on his cheek.

*

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Almost rocking Alex in his arms, oblivious to the odd looks from anyone passing, Marc wept hard, guilt flooding his veins, “Please be ok. Please. Please, please…”

Sitting up slowly, getting out of the car to pick up the keys having been a bad idea, Alex took a sip of water, them having been sat there so long it was disgustingly warm. “I’m sorry.”

“No, you said sorry. You said sorry and I said I’d drive you and I promised Mama I wouldn’t leave you and I did leave you.” Marc swallowed hard, his hands still trembling, the sight of Alex tumbling to the ground as he bent to pick up the car keys making his heart stop. “I shouldn’t have left you. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… I hit you and I nearly killed you and then I left you and I made you pick the keys up.”

Turning slightly, positions switching enough that he was hugging Marc, Alex didn’t care who saw the tears spilling down his cheeks, half in relief that the burning pain in his head was only momentary when he’d bent over to pick up the keys (bending over something Dr Garcia had explicitly told him not to do) and half in guilt that he’d broken his brother again. “It’s all my fault. All mine. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I do.” Marc shrugged, honesty suddenly important, the desire to get his brother back a side issue to having to give Alex something back. “I don’t love Dani. I never have… I liked Dani, I liked Dani a lot, but I didn’t love him. You did love him and I was so…”

“That doesn’t matter,” Alex interrupted with a shake of the head, “it doesn’t matter that you didn’t love him, I still shouldn’t have… You wouldn’t have done that to me. Even if you loved him and I didn’t, you would have respected that he was mine. Just like I should have respected that he was yours.”

“I like to think I would have.” Marc bit his lip, his eyes wide, grip on Alex tightening. “I think part of the reason I’m so angry is that I don’t know.”

“I do.” Alex nodded, confident and strong. “You would have done the right thing. You are a good person.”

“I nearly killed you…”

“Accidentally.”

“Still.”

“You didn’t. I’m still alive. I’m here… We’re here…”

“Yeah.” Marc nodded, suddenly giggling as he realised where they were; sitting on a dusty piece of dirt next to the parking area, cars whizzing past just a few feet away, families coming in and out of the services, “we’re _here_...”

Looking around, seeing what Marc had seen, the ridiculousness of two rich men sitting on the ground being passed by small children frustrating their parents by interrupting long journeys **again** hitting him, Alex broke into a fit of giggles, Marc joining in, laughing long enough and hard enough they suddenly had to scramble to the car, the sound of Marc’s well-known bellow making people look and recognise.

*

“This music is dire…”

Marc laughed, the only station they could pick up playing tunes from before they were both born, “I like this one…”

“I don’t think I know it…” Alex frowned, before realising he did know it, the lyrics to the 1989 hit suddenly being belted out by them both, the first line chorus somehow fitting, things not fixed-fixed, but fixed at least.

_“I drove all night to get to you…”_


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four weeks on from the last chapter.

_ Four weeks later _

“Marc?” Dani’s eyebrows raised as his mouth dropped, his teammate most certainly not who he expected to be standing on his doorstep. “What are you doing here?”

Overnight bag in hand, not that he was intending to stay in Dani’s house, that idea too painful, Marc fixed Dani with a look, one that let the elder man see the worry in his face, “I need to speak to you… About Alex.”

“Oh, ok.” Faltering for a second before his manners kicked in, Dani stepped back, “Come in…”

*

“Thanks.” Taking the cold bottle of water from Dani, the atmosphere beyond awkward, Marc took a grateful swig, happy for the pause.

Taking a seat on the opposite sofa, all memories of Marc’s previous visits flooding back, Dani fidgeted with his watch. “So, what’s going on?”

“Alex isn’t doing so good…” Marc bit on his lip, emotions conflicting, his stomach churning as he thought about Alex’s recurring nightmares. “He can’t sleep.”

Confused, brow furrowing, Dani tried to school his face, to hide the reaction he had at that. “Right?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t care.” Instinctively feeling defensive of Alex, the past four weeks having been spent spending as much time together as possible, playing the PlayStation, arguing like they used to do, Marc shook his head, fixing Dani with his dark eyes. “Alex and I have been honest with each other, brutally honest. So, you need to be honest too…”

Shifting awkwardly in his seat, Dani felt guilty, the prospect of showing any care for Alex in front of Marc feeling wrong. “Sorry.”

“I’m sick of apologies Dani.” Shrugging his shoulders, not hiding the pain, but not milking it either, Marc sighed hard. “I just want my brother to be ok… He’s terrified. Have you spoken to him?”

“No.” Dani shook his head, feeling guilty both at not having spoken to Alex and for wishing he had. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Nightmares,” Marc sucked air through his teeth, making a noise that set Dani on edge, “He can’t sleep. Just can’t sleep.”

Stroking the side of his neck, instinctively wanting to call Alex, Dani nodded, understanding Marc’s concern, “That’s not good.”

“No, it’s not.” Marc looked Dani square in the face, eyes watching for Dani’s reaction, so you need to call him and tell him you are not going to Suzuki.”

Tilting his head to the side, Dani sounded confused, “What?”

“His dreams are mostly about you. About you hating him for wrecking your career.”

“I would never…”

“I know.” Marc leant back, eyes on Dani, posture open and non-aggressive, “I’m glad you’ve realised that…”

“Marc…”

“Look,” Marc shrugged, sighing hard, smile only half wide, “I don’t like what you did. I will never stand up and clap the fact you fucked my brother when we were together, but it happened and we must deal with it. I don’t really see the point in everyone being miserable forever just out of principle.”

Completely thrown by Marc’s words, which seemed to be suggesting something completely unbelievable, Dani frowned, “What are you saying Marc?”

“You need to go to Cervera…”

Dani’s jaw dropped, stunned despite the fact he’d almost predicted it. “I can’t do that.”

“You can.” Marc smiled, this time it actually reaching his eyes, “You can, and you should. Do you love him?”

“Marc…”

“I know the answer, Dani.” Marc shrugged, no malice or anger in his tone. “I’m just wondering if you know it yet.”

Looking down, unable to keep Marc’s eye, Dani’s shoulders slumped, “I’m so sorry.”

“Do you love him, Dani?”

Dani nodded, his eyes shut, shame overwhelming him, “Yes. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Voice still friendly, the words stinging a tiny bit despite having known it for a while, Marc bit his lip, “Just don’t fuck it up…”

Eyes shooting open, Dani almost fell off the sofa, “What?!”

“You heard me. Don’t fuck it up…”

“You mean?” Dani let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding when Marc nodded. His head swimming with confusion and possibilities, “How can… I don’t… I mean… It’s just...”

“Dani,” Piercing the fog of confusion, Marc smiled fondly, finally catching the older man’s eye, “I love my brother. I nearly killed him… On the trip home, we argued and we cried. Things will never be the same, they can’t be, too much has happened, but as hard as it is to imagine having to see you two together, it’s harder to imagine all of this has been for nothing…”

“I don’t know what to say…”

“Just promise me you’ll never hurt him.”

“I promise.”

*

Alex

| 

 

| 

Funny story… Last night I was playing PlayStation with my brother. This morning I woke up and my brother AND my car was gone… Then today I got a text from the airport parking service telling me off for parking my car in the wrong space…  
  
---|---|---  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Oops! In my defence, I left a note  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

I don’t think the parking people found the note…  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Not for them! For you!  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

Oh, I haven’t seen it.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

It’s on the fridge  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

Ah, I haven’t been to the fridge yet  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

You’ve not had breakfast yet?  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

Cold pizza…  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

That’s so fucking grim!!!  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

It’s not. It’s what leftover pizza is made for. Anyway, never mind that. When are you home from Lugano? ;-)  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

It’s really not…  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

How did you guess?  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

Because I heard how disappointed you were when Jorge said he couldn’t come to Spain  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Am I doing the right thing?  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

Do you love him?  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I don’t know. I really don’t know  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

That’s not a no…  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

It’s not a yes either  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

Is he worth taking a chance?  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Yes. I just don’t know if he thinks I am.  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

Only one way to find out…  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I know. I’m just not sure if I want to hear what he has to say now in case it’s not what I want to hear  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

You deserve to be happy Marc.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Everyone deserves to be happy  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

You certainly do.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

We both do. We’ve worked hard all our lives. We’ve been good sons. Good brothers. We’ve trained every day we were supposed to train, missing parties and holidays. We both deserve to be happy Alex. Please remember that  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

That got a bit deep…  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

It’s important. I want you to be happy too  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

Go ask Jorge the questions. Good luck x  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Thank you. Good luck to you too  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

Jajaja!! Me – good luck with deciding your entire future Marc. You – good luck with PlayStation!  
  
*

Sweaty hands gripping the steering wheel, Marc turned off the engine, parked across the street from Jorge’s apartment, his heart racing as he planned his speech in his head, making and changing his mind on his tactics repeatedly. Getting out of the car, he closed the door quietly, just in case Jorge somehow heard the door bang from four floors up or something equally ridiculous. Taking a breath, he walked across the road, ready to be brave.

*

Pulling in to a parking bay opposite the Marquez house, Dani took a few breaths, his head down, not looking at the building until he had his heart rate under control. Taking his phone from his pocket he checked the message from Marc, seeing the confirmation, again, that Marc was serious and wanted him to come to Alex. Not even bothered about the ridiculous cost of the private jet he’d hired to get to Spain, or the cost of the discrete hire car he was driving. Click off the engine, he pulled the key free of the ignition and opened the door, freeing himself from his seatbelt before getting out. Clicking the locks shut with trembling hands, he checked both was before crossing the road, knowing it was his turn to be brave.

*

Pausing before pressing the bell, his stomach flipped, worrying him for a second that he’d vomit on his own shoes. Taking a few deep breaths, he tried to compose himself, reminding himself of all the reasons he was there, all the happiness that could be his, could be theirs. Lifting his hand, he shook his head, bravery crashing, his feet scuttling him back across the road before he had another thought, tears stinging his eyes and blurring his vision as he quickly started the car and pulled away, only driving a short distance before he had to pull in, feeling worse than he’d ever felt in his life.

*

Lifting his hand to ring the bell, he paused, just for a moment, taking a few deep breaths before his finger was pressing the button, his brain reminding him to take his hand away, it feeling like a lifetime where he could hear footsteps getting closer and closer to the door. Taking a sharp breath as it was pulled open, the other man agog at who was on his doorstep, he smiled, “Hi…”

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Alex closed his mouth, vaguely aware that “goldfish” wasn’t his best look. “What are you doing here?”

“Your brother told me to come.” Dani bit his lip, his heart aching at the state of Alex; the dark rings around his eyes combining horribly with the pale skin and gaunt looking face.

Confused, Alex frowned. “Marc?”

“Yeah. You only have one brother…” Dani smiled, desperate to see some sort of light appear on Alex’s face. “He’s worried about you.”

Stuttering in confusion, Alex leant his head against the door. “Marc is in Lugano. Were you in Lugano?”

“No.” Dani smiled kindly, appreciating that Alex was the last person in the loop, well equal last with Jorge, “He came to Geneva first. He gave me a few home truths, then he gave me his blessing to come here and look after you…”

“That’s why he said good luck…” Biting his lip, tears filling his eyes, the thought of his brother putting aside everything for his sake making him want to weep. “I need to check with him. Sorry. This is rude, but I have too…”

“It’s ok. I’ll wait right here.” Shifting from foot-to-foot, glad it was late enough for the street to be quiet Dani stared at the closed over door, praying Marc would answer quickly.

*

Alex

| 

 

| 

I can’t do this if it hurts you.  
  
---|---|---  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

You won’t hurt me. Be happy and that will make me feel better  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

How can you be ok with this? We betrayed you.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

You did. I nearly killed you…  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

You didn’t mean to do that.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Did you mean to betray me?  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

No.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Exactly. Things haven’t gone the way we expected them to go. I’m in my car going to Jorge Lorenzo’s house to tell him I want to have a proper relationship with him. You are in our house with Dani (I hope!) and he’s going to look after you. We’re both going to be happy because we’re going to remember who we are and we’re going to go out and get what we want/need  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

I love you.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I love you too bro. Tell Dani I said well done  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

I need to let him in first.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

What?! Where is he?  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

I think he’s still on the doorstep.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Go and let him in, take him to your bedroom, get into bed and go to sleep…  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

How did you know? About the sleep thing?  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Just a hunch  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

Go knock on Jorge’s door, tell him, then get into his bed and get some sleep bro.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

See you next week x  
  
Alex

| 

 

| 

Will do. Thank you xxx  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

xx  
  
. *

“Hi.” Alex opened the door, a smile on his face and his dark eyes glassy. “Do you want to come in?”

Dani smiled, his heart almost jumping into his throat. “That would be nice. It’s a lovely doorstep, but… Well, you know.”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded, stepping back enough to let Dani in, closing the door behind him just as the first tear fell down his cheek. “I’m sorry. It’s just…”

Pulling Alex into a hug, somehow surrounding the taller man despite the height difference, Dani pressed a kiss to Alex’s shoulder. “You don’t have to be sorry. You need to sleep.”

“I’m so tired. So, so tired.”

Untangling himself, Dani slipped his hand into Alex’s, lacing their fingers. “What do you need me to do?”

“Just be there.” Alex blushed, looking down at his feet. “I keep dreaming about you hating me.”

“Never going to happen.” Dani promised, leaning up to peck a kiss to Alex’s lips. “Come on. We’ll talk later, you need to sleep to get better.”

*

Marc

| 

 

| 

Did he let you in?  
  
---|---|---  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

He did. Thank you.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Is he asleep?  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

Yes, one hour and counting.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Good  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

How is Jorge?  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I don’t know  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

??  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I’m still in my car outside his apartment  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

You aren’t going to get any answers there.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I know. I just don’t know if I am ready to hear the answers yet  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

You are Marc Marquez. You are always ready to cope with anything.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

This feels different  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

You are the toughest person I have ever met. By a country mile. No matter what Jorge says you’ll deal with it and you’ll deal with it well.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

You have more faith in me than I do right now  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

I have good reason to have good faith in you. You’ve done something for me today that no-one else would ever do.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I didn’t do it for you. I’m not being horrible when I say that, but I didn’t. I did it for Alex  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

Most people wouldn’t even do that for their brother. I don’t know that I could have done it for Eric. You are a good person Marc. Jorge would be a fool to turn you down.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Well, we shall see. If you hurt Alex I will kill you  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

I wouldn’t expect, or deserve, any less.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Look after him  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

I will. Go give Jorge a chance to surprise you.  
  
 

Putting his phone down on the bed, Dani looked down at Alex, the taller man draped half over Dani, his head on Dani’s chest, his face finally looking peaceful. Running a hand through his hair, Alex so exhausted he didn’t even flinch, Dani kissed Alex’s forehead, amazed and beyond grateful for where he was.


	17. Chapter 17

Marc

| 

 

| 

Did he let you in?  
  
---|---|---  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

He did. Thank you.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Is he asleep?  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

Yes, one hour and counting.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Good  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

How is Jorge?  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I don’t know  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

??  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I’m still in my car outside his apartment  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

You aren’t going to get any answers there.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I know. I just don’t know if I am ready to hear the answers yet  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

You are Marc Marquez. You are always ready to cope with anything.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

This feels different  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

You are the toughest person I have ever met. By a country mile. No matter what Jorge says you’ll deal with it and you’ll deal with it well.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

You have more faith in me than I do right now  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

I have good reason to have good faith in you. You’ve done something for me today that no-one else would ever do.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

I didn’t do it for you. I’m not being horrible when I say that, but I didn’t. I did it for Alex  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

Most people wouldn’t even do that for their brother. I don’t know that I could have done it for Eric. You are a good person Marc. Jorge would be a fool to turn you down.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Well, we shall see. If you hurt Alex I will kill you  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

I wouldn’t expect, or deserve, any less.  
  
Marc

| 

 

| 

Look after him  
  
Dani

| 

 

| 

I will. Go give Jorge a chance to surprise you.  
  
 

Pondering his reply, Marc jumped as someone knocked on his window, his heart racing when he looked up to find Jorge’s frowning face looking back at him. Hitting the button to put the window down he mentally cursed his own hand as he waved, no doubt looking as demonic as he sounded. “Hi!”

“Hello.” Frown replaced by an amused smirk, Jorge leant on car, his hands on the frame. “Do you fancy explaining why you’ve been sitting outside my apartment for almost two hours?”

Blushing bright red, Marc shrugged, barely able to look Jorge in the eye. “I’m not sure.”

“You’re not sure?” Pulling a face that said _‘I don’t believe you’_ Jorge tilted his head toward the building, “Would you like to come in?”

“Maybe…”

“Maybe?” Jorge laughed, the high-pitched giggle he tried so often to hide. “You just drove here on the off chance the mood might take you, did you?... I wish you were this indecisive on track…”

Laughing, and blushing more, Marc shrugged, the kind of shrug that said _‘I’m a dick’_ and _‘I don’t know how to explain’_ all at once. “Jajaja.”

“I’m just about to make food, and you must surely need a piss by now, you’ve been guzzling water like you’ve been stranded in the desert all afternoon…” Stepping back from the car, making it plain he was going inside, Jorge pushed his hands into his pockets, hoping Ricky’s suggestion that he _‘Just fucking ask him why he’s there’_ was good advice, and that Marc would follow him in.

*

“That view is…” Marc puffed out his cheeks, marvelling at the stunning picture from the window, “absolutely spectacular.”

On the sofa, sitting on the corner piece, legs crossed, arm on the back, Jorge watched Marc carefully, trying to read the younger man’s body language. “It is. It’s why I bought it.”

“That and the tax reasons…” Marc smirked, glancing over his shoulder at Jorge before looking back, a little of his normal spark coming back.

Jorge smiled, nodding in agreement, Spanish tax rates something they’d frequently discussed. “There is that.”

“I went to Geneva to see Dani.” Still looking out the window, eyes on the lake, it easier to talk if he couldn’t see Jorge’s reaction, Marc sighed softly, “I sent him to Cervera.”

Heart sinking, then Marc’s words confusing him, Jorge queried, “Why?”

“Alex needs him.” Short and factual, Marc shrugged. “He’s been having nightmares, awful, awful nightmares. About Dani. About him going to Suzuki…”

“Iannone isn’t **that** bad.” Jorge smirked, pleased when Marc’s shoulders shuddered and his head shook from side-to-side.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.” Marc closed his eyes, aware this was the crunch point, the moment that everything would change one way or the other. “I like you.”

“I like you too.”

“I like you a lot.” Taking a gulp, hoping the tremble in his voice was only audible to himself, Marc tilted his head to the side, contemplating. “It’s been a crazy few months with everything. Dani. Alex. The fight. _You_ …”

Jorge nodded in agreement, still on the sofa, leaning forward slightly to make sure he missed none of Marc’s quieter words. “It has.”

“I know you don’t do relationships.”

“I don’t.”

“I know that.” Marc leant his forehead against the glass, the coolness easing the tension in his skin. “That’s why this is such a stupid idea.”

“What is this?”

“Me telling you that I like you.” Pausing for a second, watching some of the little dots that were people and vehicles moving around in the distance, Marc took the step, his voice holding better than he expected. “It’s me asking you to consider reconsidering your stance on relationships…”

“Oh.” Jorge sat back, Marc’s words taking him by surprise, his assumption that Marc was ending things between them completely wrong. “I see.”

“I know it’s a long shot, and I won’t cause you any problems, or hate you, if you say no.” Marc’s ears twitched as he heard Jorge moving on the sofa, relaxing when the sounds stopped, everything in the room silent again. “I just realised that sometimes you have to take a chance.”

“You do.” Making Marc jump again, his socked feet having made no noise on the wooden floor, Jorge spoke right against Marc’s ear, his hands coming to sit on the younger man’s hips. “It’s not that I don’t do relationships, I’m just shit at them.”

“I doubt that.” Leaning back slightly, the heat of Jorge’s chest warming his back, Marc mentally photographed the view, wanting to remember everything about the moment.

“I am.” Jorge’s tone changed, a clear tinge of regret now present. “Ricky… I fucked up so badly. I hurt him. Worse than that I let him down.”

“What happened?”

“I was too young. Too stubborn. Too stupid.” Brutally honest, remembering the sound of Ricky’s disappointment when he cancelled on him again, and his tears when he found Jorge in bed with a random woman, Jorge sighed, resting his chin on Marc’s shoulder. “I cheated on him. Never with a guy, just women. Back when I thought I could cure myself… When I truly thought I needed to be cured... My career was everything. I once cancelled our anniversary dinner to go to a meeting with a guy who _might_ have been setting up a company that one day _might_ have wanted to sponsor me… I was such a dick.”

“Past history.” Marc rested his head against Jorge’s, their cheeks touching, Jorge’s arms coming around his waist, Marc’s wrapping over them. “That was then, this is now.”

“If you love Dani…”

“I don’t,” Marc interjected, “I promise I don’t.”

“I get jealous…”

“I know. So do I.”

“I’m impatient.”

“We’re all impatient Jorge, it’s why we win stuff.”

“You think we could do this?” Jorge chewed on the inside of his cheek, trying to focus on the words rather than on the way Marc’s arse was pressing against his groin, his cock wide awake and more than interested. “Honestly?”

“I don’t know.” Marc admitted the truth, not in possession of a crystal ball to tell the truth, turning in Jorge’s hold until they were face-to-face and looking at each other properly for the first time, “I think it’s worth trying though…”

Jorge nodded, contemplating everything, a smile pulling at his lips getting wider as Marc mirrored him, until they were both grinning, and laughing, and kissing, kissing like they’d never kissed before, passionate yet gentle, exploratory rather than leading, Marc’s arms reaching to go around his neck as Jorge stepped closer, pressing them against the window, denim and cotton not hiding how turned on either of them were, yet neither pushed things forward, both now knowing that they had time, that they didn’t have to rush, that they could do this, kiss and kiss and kiss pressed against the window as the little dots went about their business oblivious to the fact that lives had just changed.


	18. Chapter 18

"You're staring..."

"Sorry." Smiling, not tthe least bit sorry, Jorge ran his thumb over Marc's cheekbone, "You are so beautiful."

Blushing, his cheeks turning a glorious shade of crimson, Marc snuggled his face into Jorge's chest. "Shut up."

"I love how you can take endless compliments about on track stuff," Jorge shifted, moving more onto his side, that forcing Marc to do the same, the sofa too narrow to argue, "yet a few nice words off track and your face is bright red... And your cock rock hard..."

Laughing, loud and hearty, no nerves about being overheard, Marc shrugged, unapologetic about the frequency of his erections when in close proximity to Jorge. "I'm young."

"You are." Watching Marc carefully, the younger man clearly trying to decide between keeping things intimate, yet clean, and allowing his not-so-hidden desires to take over, Jorge pondered the age gap for a few moments, wondering if two such different people could ever truly be on the same page. He realised, with a frown, that Marc had spoken and he'd missed it, "Sorry?"

"I said, don't overthink it," Blushing again, Marc shrugged, "otherwise you'll end up sitting in your car for hours and hours..."

"I'm surprised you didn't piss yourself," Jorge laughed, "You must have a bladder of steel."

"I nearly did! I thought about pissing in a bottle, you know like you see by the side of the road after a traffic jam?" Marc giggled, needing a few moments to compose himself before he could explain, "Then I imagined the phone call in which I tried to explain to Livio why I had been arrested for having my dick out in my car outside your apartment..."

"You know," Jorge giggled, the genuine giggle most people never got to hear, Marc dissolved into tears of laughter, "I'm almost disappointed now, that would have been hilarious!"

*

"You stayed..." Bleary eyed, Alex smiled through a yawn, his face lighting up when he realised Han Dani was still there. "I thought it was a dream."

Brushing some hair from Alex's forehead, Dani shook his head, smiling, "No, not a dream."

"I can't believe you are here." Rolling onto his side, Dani's arm cradling him, Alex reached out,maids fingertips touching the stubble on Dani's face, needing the physical confirmation that it was real, that it wasn't another cruel dream, Dani really was there, with him, for him. "How long are you staying for?"

Dani smiled, instantly recognising the double-headed question, "I'm staying for as long as you want me to stay for."

"What about Marc?" Biting his lip, fearful of asking, butt owing he should, Alex cast his eyes downward. "Most people, if they had the choice, would chose Marc..."

Leaning in to kiss Alex's lips softly, Dani silently cursed the dented confidence in the younger man. Keeping it chaste and comforting, aware of both the physical and mental toll recent events had taken on Alex, he carefully restate or foreheads together. "Did you choose this? Did you choose to fall in love with me?"

"No." Closing his eyes as he made the admittance, the sensations of having Dani so close after so long overwhelming him, Alex tried to fight the sob escaping his throat, "I feel so guilty."

Closing his eyes, pulling Alex closer, wanting him as close as possible, Dani dropped his voice to a whisper. "I know baby. I do too..."

"He's my brother. I hurt him so badly... And my parents..."

wrapping the arm under Alex around him,mDani stroked the younger mans back with his free hand, totally understanding that this, all of this, would be necessary before they could begin to move on. "He forgives you, Marc forgives you."

"I think that makes it worse." Letting go of the emotions he'd locked away, some of them never even admitted to himself, Alex sobbed hard; fear, regret, shame and guilt spilling out as fat salty tears that soaked Dani's chest.

Rocking back and forth gently, cradling Alex, Dani closed his eyes, hating himself for being respsonsible for causing Alex so much pain, but feeling beyond grateful at being given the chance to try and make it better.

*

"Sorry." Marc blushed, then giggled, their never ending kissing and groping session interrupted by a loud rumbling from his belly.

mock pouting, sitting back on his heels, his knees either side of Marc's, the younger flat on his back, looking beautifully dishevelled, Jorge fake huffed. "I'm offended... I let my hands wander and your belly objects... Loudly..."

Groaning, Jorge's hands running up his thighs to emphasise his words, Marc sighed, his eyes almost glowing with lust, "I suppose I could be persuaded to forget about food for a while..."

"You suppose?"

Marc nodded, hip cheeky retort dying on his tongue as Jorge's hand went to his belt, nimble fingers making quick work of it. "Your hand is cold!"

"Is it?" Smirking slightly Jorge pushed his hand into Marc's jeans, bypassing his boxers to bring cool fingers into direct contact with hard cock, that first touch making Marc swear and lift his hips from the sofa, Jorge's free hand quickly opening the zip compete,y, giving m better access. "I suppose I could try and persuade you..."

grunting as Jorge's fingers wrapped around him, gripping him firmly, his free hand going to Marc's abdomen to hold him down - like he had any wish to escape - Marc worried his bottom lip with his teeth, sensations overloading him as Jorge's hand started to move, slowly and firmly stroking him like they had all night and Marc had a earth of patience. "Please..."

"Here? Like this? With my hand?" Relishing in the way Marc was starting to come apart Jorge couldn't resist adding in little things that drew noises he loved; a thumb swiping over his tip made Marc curse beautifully, slowing the pace made him moan in needy, and greedy, frustration, and flicking his wrist  changing the ang,e slightly made him yowl. It made the sheen of sweat on his forehead shine more, it made him try to lift his hips, to control the pace, little noises, almost pleas, falling from his mouth as he was pulled close and closer to the edge. Best of all was the moment that Marc hit  _that_ point, the pint that saw his eyes flutter shut, his fists clench by his sides, and Jorge's name scream out of his throat as his cum spurted over Jorge's hand, Marc's most vulnerable moment shared, offered and trusted to Jorge in the most beautiful way.

*

Wiping his eyes, wondering briefly just how red and puffy they were, Alex shrugged, bash fully embarrassed, "Sorry, this isn't what you travelled all this way for..."

"I came here for you Alex." Dani smiled, reaching to strike Alex's face, grinning like and idiot when Alex turning to kiss his palm. "I'm not naive, I know it's not going to be easy, I know we have some demons to get through and I want to be there to get through it with you."

Alex smiled, a slightly goofy smile, his eyes lighting up as a shudder breath went through him as he finally accepted that Dani was thee, no why Dani was the. "I cant believe you are here for me....

"Believe me."

Biting his lip, a little burst of bravery flooding him, Alex shook his head. "You've Beene here all this time and I haven't even kissed you properly..."

"that's positively neglectful..." Dani laughed, loving the sound of Alex chuckling, a proper deep belly laugh which warmed his soul.

Shaking his head, actually feeling happy for the first time in what felt like forever, Alex pecked a kiss to Dani's lips. Fixing his eyes on Dani's, his breath caught in his chest, the Amy Dani was looking at him not a way anyone had ever looked at him before. Landing in again, his tongue instinctively darting out to wet his lips just before Dani's lips touched his,m his toes curling at the spark as Dani's soft, slightly chapped, lips moved against his, moulding them together, anything and everything else forgotten as Dani's tongue flicked out, seeking an entry that was readily given, tangling with Alex's, sharing their first guilt free dance together. 


	19. Chapter 19

"Dani..." Alex shivered, Dani blanketing his back, tiny kisses being pressed to his goose bumped skin as they both crossed the line, almost together, Dani holding on just long enough to be sure Alex had. "Dani..."

Pulling out, nothing between them giving him the toe-curlingly good sight of some of him leaking from Alex, Dani rolled onto his side, arms around Alex like he was the taller, "I'm here, in here and I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you." Alex blushed, cursing the mouth that always ran away with itself when he was in that blisssfully happy post climax blur. "Sorry."

Dani chuckled, reaching up to stroke Alex's cheek gently, his voice slightly hoarse, "Never apologise for that... never ever... I love you... Don't hide!..."

"Daniiii...." Burying his face in Dani's chest, his cheeks pink, but blissfully happy, Alex chuckled. "People are going to be so confused..."

"Fuck them." Deadly serious, his eyes almost black as he tilted Alex's chin up, fixing him with a look, "I dont care what they think, I don't care what they say, any of them..."

"Oh." Taken aback by the strength of Dani's words Alex shivered again, the intensity of Dani's look burning into him, somehow making him believe than Dani really did love him, biting his bottom lip as the effect spread through his veins the stimulation almost painful. "Dani..."

"Ssh baby..." Reaching for Alex, deft fingers wrapping around his renewed hardness, Dani kissed away the oversensitive wail, loving the sounds as his hand moved, slowly, but firmly, "I've got you... let it go baby, let it go..."

*

“Can you pass me the pepper please? It’s in the cupboard above your head… Dani? Earth to Dani?” Alex looked up from the pot he was stirring, deciding to try and impress Dani with his cooking skills before realising he could only make one dish. “Hello? Earth to Dani?”

Frozen to the spot, four eyes glaring at him from the hallway, Dani braced himself for world war three to break out. “Hello Julia… Roser…”

“Fuck…” Alex turned to his parents, their return coming unexpectedly early, the carefully chopped vegetables sizzling in the pot. “Mama, Papa… You are home early.”

“Clearly… What is he doing here?” Her tone bordering on acerbic, Roser fixed Alex with a look that screamed disapproval. “This is your brother’s home. It is your home, but it is your brother’s home also…”

“I know Mama, but…”

“But nothing,” Cutting him off with a shake of the head, Roser turned to Dani, her eyes almost black, “You need to leave please. Now.”

“Mama…”

“Alex,” Turning to her younger son with a sigh, Roser looked more disappointed than Alex had ever seen her look at him in his entire life. “This is your brother’s **home** Alex!”

“I know that!” Instantly defensive Alex, shook his head, “Do you really think…”

“Sorry,” Dani interrupted, stepping forward, reaching to squeeze Alex’s hand, before looking up at Roser, not defiant, but confident enough to face her. “I will leave if you wish. However, you should know, it was Marc who told me to come here.”

“Marc did?” Roser frowned, Dani’s words confusing her. “Why would Marc send you here?”

“Because he knows that I love Alex, and that Alex loves me, and for reasons that I think are beyond amazing your son, Marc, is stronger than anyone I have ever met in my life before.” Dani squeezed Alex’s hand before letting it go, praying silently that he’d be allowed to stay, but respectful enough to leave without causing any sort of scene if he was asked. “He came to my house, we talked, mostly he talked, and then he told me that Alex was struggling, not sleeping, and he asked me to come here.”

“Is this true?” Looking to Alex, disappointment in his actions not diminishing the fact that she trusted her son’s word implicitly, Roser tilted her head at his nod, amazed yet somehow not surprised. “Well then, I guess you better make sure there is enough food in that pot for four…”

“Thank you, Mama,” Alex smiled, beaming wide in a way no-one had seen him smile for months. “Papa?”

“If it’s fine with your mother then it’s fine with me son.”

“If you are happy then we are happy,” Roser smiled at Alex, before turning back to Dani, “You realise that you are not my favourite person?”

Dani nodded, fully accepting that stance, amazed once again by the level of acceptance from the Marquez parents, “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

“I’ll be honest with you Dani,” Roser clicked her tongue, shaking her head, the honesty somehow obvious as she spoke, “I want to ask you to leave. To leave this house and never have anything to do with either of my boys ever again.”

“I understand that.”

“I don’t trust you. You managed to do the thing no-one ever managed to do, you managed to break both of my boys at the same time…” Leaving that hanging, watching as Dani accepted it, owned the responsibility even, Roser bit her lip before continuing, “However, for reasons that, like you, I do not fully comprehend, Marc has sent you here, and Alex looks happy… For those reasons you can stay, but if you put so much of a hair out of place, one step out of place for one single second then you are out, do you understand me?”

“I do. I won’t, but I do.”

“People talk in the paddock, the Jack Millers of this world.” Roser fixed Dani with her steeliest look, one that made him swallow and want to step back, the look conveying the threat the soft tone hid. “They say we have too much influence. That we think we are paddock royalty. We don’t. I don’t, my boys done, Julia doesn’t…we’ve never been that kind of family.”

“I know.”

“I will though.” Roser promised, her eyes dark, her face emotionless. “If you break them again I’ll use whatever influence the name carries and I’ll do whatever damage I can.”

“Mama!” Aghast, never having seen his mother like that, Alex’s eyes were like wide saucers, “Mama you can’t say that!”

“She can,” Dani reached for Alex’s hand again, squeezing it gently, but not letting it go, “She can because I deserve it.”

“Right.” Roser took off her cardigan, draping it over the back of the chair before looking around with a smile, like she hadn’t just threatened Dani’s career, “Why don’t I take over the cooking? Alex why don’t you set the table, Dani could you go and bring some more drinks up from the garage please? Julia take our case upstairs please… Right, let’s see what you’ve done with these vegetables, I hope you haven’t butchered your grandmother’s recipe Alex Marquez…”


End file.
